PKTR program

I am very tempted to write something about PKTR. After reading so many posts from my fellow pktrians, I fear that mine would only be a repetition of what they have written. Instead of writing about the things we had been through, I would like to share some of the thoughts I have before, during and after the programs.

What I was expecting:

1) Sleeping on carpets on floor or if better, double deckers.
We had such comfortable beds! Air cons! No mosquito! Huuray!! I was wowing my way in on the first day...

2) Eating only 3 meals a day as stated on the jadual (hoping to get thinner)
Instead of 3, we had 6!! (once every two to three hours... )

3) I would be too lazy to wash my own clothes and dry them
I actually enjoyed washing clothes manually! hehe...

4) My clothes will not be enough for me to wear
I didn't even got the chance to wear some of the clothes I brought... haha..

5) Less than 50 will turn up cuz everyone is heading for studies
Only a few of them did not come (They dunno wat they had missed in their lives...)

6) I would want to go back earlier before the closing ceremony because of boredom
I enjoyed the program so much that I wished it would last for another week!

7) I would not enjoy the dinamika (i had been thru those silly games that we play during camp.)
Owh I love the dinamika.... they brought us closer to each other..

8) I might not be able to wake up in the morning
I was among the first to wake up!!

9) They will not follow the time table given at all
At least the time table can still be referred occasionally (I had been to a camp which no one cared about the time table.)

10) One person is given only a few minutes to shower and wash clothes at the same time.
Yippie! I can take my time to bathe and wash clothes slowly (whistling... )

11) The time is extremely packed and fast paced.
We were so free and relaxed all the time! I am glad to play grandma, black magic, silent killer.. (i still can't figure out angels fall and the yes or no handphone thingie..)


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Before the program

Like everyone else, I was glad to be selected by school. I wasn't very interested at first as we had to fill in the CV and do everything. At the interview in Batu Pahat, only some came.

I smsed tengku harith to ask him what I should wear for the interview. Instead of "formal", he said "anything". So I wore a formal long pants with a black collar t-shirt (which daniel mistakenly thought as a male shirt outside the dryer on the fifth day).

It was suppose to be a group interview. But my other 2 partners didn't turn up. Hence, it became a panel interview. 7 to 1. Imagine 7 people staring at you at the same time. And I had to try and maintain eye contact with everyone. But I am glad that they were nice. I felt lucky to be the only one as I managed to leave an impression somehow.

They actually asked me why I should be chosen instead of my other friend, why am I better. I wasn't prepared for that specific question. But I am glad that they were satisfied with my answer.

The tables between us were like 3 meters away so I had to walked up to shake hand with all seven of them.

After getting the letter via email, I was so happy that I succeeded.

I smsed and emailed harith about the program like almost 20 times. Yup. I was the one who asked him whether they provide iron, ironing board, hanger and clips on the night before.

I was also pretty disappointed at first to know that we had to wash our own clothes (which I had never done before) but I am glad I enjoyed the process during the program. It's a great exercise for hands and arms muscles. I learnt the effective way to squeeze water off clothes from nadira too.

My parents were pretty worried as it was the first time I had to go somewhere by bus on my own. Despite the fear of getting lost, I came by mayang sari from Muar to Pudu, all by myself ^_^.


During the program:

During the first few days, I felt miserable. I felt pressured to even speak with anyone of the PKTRians. Ever since my first encounter with nadira and hafizi on the pajero, listening to her talking intelligently about herself makes me feel inferior. It wasn't her actually. I just didn't have the confidence for myself.

I always wear a mask in front of people whom I met not longer than a year. I can't believe that I actually removed my topeng for less than 2 days.

After getting to know my fellow red team mates, we had such strong bonds and were the only team who ate together during meals for many days. That's why we were the team who cried the hardest and earliest during the"Gunung Berapi" session. (it was me.. i started crying even b4 anyone was selected. felt bad for choosing someone to be left behind.)

After knowing some other great souls, we started eating in other tables with other people ^_^.
Some of them in our group (like ozan, mei funn, nicole, chan) were too bz with their own stuff. Our red group seemed to have lots of great leaders in the program.

I kind of regret for waking up slightly earlier than everyone else for breakfast. We could have shared more time together... ><

I carried my camera everywhere I went since the first day I took two photos with Tan Boon Heong. I actually thought that I would meet at least one star a day. Haha.

I couldn't hold my tears back when farah started singing on the closing ceremony. The words and lyrics might mean nothing to others (I even spotted one of the VIPs falling asleep.. ops.) but it meant a lot to us. Because of that song, my eyes were teary. Thanks to Aaron and Ahmad's help, I started crying pretty heavily on Farah's shoulder. I am still so touched by her actions that day as she normally feel disgusted to have girls touching her.

I still remember my time talking to erwin.. he broke the small tap at the water dispenser which I managed to fix it back later.. haha...

I thoroughly enjoy choir and choral speaking (although we had to memorise many things). That's where I started to know many people deeper.

After the closing ceremony, flashes of memories came. Things we had been thru. everything. I was so sad.
All the faces and things I saw that night suddenly relate themselves to a certain event that happened.

The last night was unforgettable. We walked from the hotel to the jetty and got scolded by the manager at the hotel (twice... the first one was "Please be quiet as we have other customer to attend to" and "This is not your school.. you cant do whatever you like".. i seriously doubt if i would go back there.. hmm.. perhaps i still might in search of the memories...).
We were lepaking, not wanting to be separated. I sat at the truth or dare group for not more than 3 minutes and kena one question by sharon (so lucky lah ...) and then joined the Jasper group. We chatted about things, looked at the stars, got bitten by mosquitoes etc.

The last night was a great night.

After the program:

At night, I dreamt of the times we had in PKTR.
I met new friends whom I would cherish for life. That doesn't mean I will forget my old friends though.. hehe..

Now i think everyone would see me as someone who cries easily. I admit that I am very sensitive and emotional towards the things I love and hate, however, I don't normally cry. When I do, it means it really matters to me. I guess the same thing applies to everyone as well.

My sister asked me how this program had changed my life. My brain was suddenly crowded for half a minute. How should I tell her all the things I had learnt and gained in just a few sentence? It's beyond words can describe. It's not just about gaining new knowledge or meeting new people or acquaintance or promoting leadership qualities.... to me, it's about forming bonds. In just 12 days, I felt fortunate to share great memories with great people across the country. I never aspected to learn that much from such a short program.

Thanks to Tengku Harith and all the facis. Thanks to everyone who came and gave us inspirational speeches. Thanks to all of you who attended both the interview and the program. I wouldn't have the chance to meet you if you hadn't.