This is my public blog

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

2011-07-06T00:32:00.003+08:00

:)

... since i last updated this blog.

Went through a very life changing incident this year, was extremely devastated and emo for a few months. But I am glad that I managed to pick myself up. Realised a few mistakes that I made in the process too. I am still young, emotional, rash and impulsive. I guess time and the challenges I face along the way will slowly shape me into a more mature person. After all, don't we all grow from mistakes? :D

Regarding my new year resolution, I have failed a few of them and achieved a few of them too. For the past semester I emphasised a lot on classical music, and self learnt the first two movement of my favourite piece. I still have one last movement to complete. Sometimes I am really very thankful to have ten fingers and piano skills. Even though I am not talented. :D Oh ya I tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle too by playing squash occasionally :D Had a wonderful post semester life, hanged out with friends, hiked, and lived life :D

I have always known that I eat A LOT when I am stressed. But what I found out about myself is I tend to lose my appetite when I am extremely sad. It's not really a bad thing though. Cuz normally I eat whenever I feel like it, but when I am sad I only eat when I feel hungry. Haha. Saved me some money and enabled me to lose some fat ^_^ yay.

Until today, I am still thankful for life, despite of its imperfections. How the end of a relationship can gain new friendships, and make me appreciate good friends. How my family still stand by my side regardless of how bad things were. How things can still go wrong when we try our best to make it right. How we have to come to terms with painful events and not dwell on it. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. How we view things, it's a choice :D

:)

Sometimes it's the imperfections that made me realise how close to perfection my life is. ^_^

2011

2011-01-04T17:51:00.000+08:00

:) This will be my new year resolution:

1) Time management
learn to manage time. Instead of playing while studying, allocate time for studying (more) and playing (less) separately. Must be punctual for everything. Learn that it's okay to wait for people. :).

2) Learn to be more disciplined.
Must try and adapt healthy lifestyle, sleep before 12am and wake up before 7am.

3) Studies
Must study effectively, not blindly. Live to learn, not learn to live. :)

4) Money
Must learn to manage money better, control expenditure and not give in to luxurious indulgence (like bubble tea, dresses). And save money to buy the things I really need (books!) :)

5) Health
Must do sports at least once a week!
Eat fruits daily!! Eat more vegetable! and take chicken occasionally!!
Stare less at the computer to save my eye sight!

6) Piano
Must learn new classical songs instead of playing pop music randomly by ear.

7) Home
Try and go home as often as possible, whenever I have time.

8) Room
Maintain the cleanliness and tidiness of my room, regardless of exam (ops.)

9) Friends
Try and love my friends more. not hate them. (ops!)

10) Patience
Be more patient in everything I do.
Act more rationally. :)

11) Facebook LESS!!!

2010-11-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

:)

had a great time in KKB. a small small kampung filled with warm people. nurses ready in action anytime. doctors taking care of 2-3 wards in one day. sisters, staffs, paramedics in A&E.

in a small small town where u cant find McD, KFC or cinema, and their biggest franchise is most probably 7-11.

where most of the cases in A&E are due to mesin injuries in kilang (even young females), and where home keepers overworked themselves ending up in wards.

* * *

realised more important things in life.

things that i shouldnt take for granted.

and things that i forgot to treasure at times.

must know my priorities well.

and never to forget the reason i m here.

thanks to kkb. i found my passion. once again.

Sorcery, Sunshine and Shakespeare

2010-10-26T19:07:00.001+08:00

I have been a huge fan of MPO since the beginning of this sem. I watched one of their performances last month (Triumph out of adversity). It was okay and I got more than I expected. The sound and visual effects were awesome. Despite of getting a RM40 seat for RM15, I was still unable to see all the brass and percussions. But overall it was awesome :)
I really really want to watch the performance this coming sunday. Initially I was quite sad as I need to replace one of my friend's shift to work at the library (am a part time librarian. ^_^), but life has been nice to me. The library will be closing due to some electrical maintenance issue. YAY!

I REALLY wish to go for this one. ;)
Hopefully I can get a seat. A good one with student price ;)

:)

Here are two of the three pieces that will be played during the performance. The third performance would be an exerpt from romeo and juliet (MPO usually keep the best for last so they can give you a BLAST right before they end).

Paul Abraham Dukas - The Sorcerer's Apprentice 01

Paul Abraham Dukas - The Sorcerer's Apprentice 02

Saint-Saëns: Piano Concerto No.5 ('Egyptian') / Zilberstein · Crudele (part 1)

Saint-Saëns: Piano Concerto No.5 ('Egyptian') / Zilberstein · Crudele (part 2)

Saint-Saëns: Piano Concerto No.5 ('Egyptian') / Zilberstein · Crudele (part 3)

Saint-Saëns: Piano Concerto No.5 ('Egyptian') / Zilberstein · Crudele (part 4)

So people, what are you waiting for? GRAB A SEAT!! ^_________^

facts about me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me

2010-10-23T02:43:00.004+08:00

:)

Yup this is going to be a super "perasan" post, and it's going to be all about me me me me and only me. I tot of writing something like this before, but dropped the idea cuz I don't want people to know me too well even though they don't know me. And it's a bit "paiseh" to write this kind of thing. But who cares, this is MY BLOG! BLEK! :)

Facts:

1) I emo a lot more than I am happy.

2) When I am happy I am really happy.

3) I don't know how to cry in joy.

4) I cry 80% of the time when I am sad. But after I cry I get over it.

5) I love my life so much that I am really thankful for everything.

6) I don't eat a lot of food. I only take certain veggies certain fish, and pieces of chicken containing more meat than bones.

7) I don't go for japanese buffets due to the reason stated in no.6.

8) A lot of people say I am missing out a lot in my life by not eating so many things, but I feel that I am saving the planet by not increasing the demand of animal products.

9) I need music to heal my sadness. Playing grand piano really makes me feel happy.

10) I love performing. But I don't wish or want to be famous.

11) I won't fall for a guy for looks or wealth. In fact he must not be too good looking or too wealthy.

12) I always aim for the best and expect the worse. This makes my life easier.

13) When I am sad I can't do anything other than wasting time.

14) I want to get married someday (duh) but if I failed to I believe my life will still be great.

15) I want to be a good person in the future :)

16) I love nichii dresses!!
17) I love playing tennis even though I am noob. Cant play badminton. Don't mind playing squash.

18) I made at least 5 websites since I was 14 years old. Two is still alive. ;) One got so popular that I had to delete it cuz I couldn't handle it.

19) My ambition when I was in primary school was teacher, when I was form 2 I want to be a powerful businesswoman, when I was in form 5 I want to be a super wealthy engineer, and during my college I finally found my current ambition. :)

20) I love stalking people on facebook. I love to read and understand people.

21) I am usually one of the noisiest in my current group of people when we go out. I enjoy hanging out with friends.

22) I don't like to hang out with people who are not from my group. I am not ready to show them my true colours yet.

23) My true colours are really ugly.

24) I firmly believe that any guy who ends up with me at the end of the day will suffer due to my weird personality.

25) I love my life now.

26) I think I have bipolar disorder. But I am trying not to believe it.

27) I like to watch orchestras live. I went to Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra twice alone.

28) I am really lazy to hang out with friends too often.

29) Sometimes I enjoy going out alone and travelling alone. Without having to worry / taking care of other people (their feelings, safety, etc.)

30) I consider myself to be a very independent person. ;)

31) My housemate said I looked like a rabbit when I sleep.

alright. that's all for today. wahahahahhahhahah!!!!

CYA! :)

question

2010-10-22T13:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder, am I on the right path? Doing the right thing?

updates

2010-10-16T02:28:00.005+08:00

It's been long since i last updated about my life.

Finally for now I am partially free of extra-curricular activities.
But somehow I missed that life.
In this one month I played tennis and squash for my house. Even though I didn't win and didn't contribute much, I am sure I tried my best. And this self-assurance is more satisfying than actually winning.
I played squash once or twice before in my matriculation college. They used to provide us with squash rackets and squash balls. But I wasn't coached, hence I just used my tennis skills to hit the squash ball, which didn't turn out very well.

Last month, I was sort of pulled into the squash team and was thankfully trained by an awesome friend. He is very patient and encouraged me to continue playing, despite of how badly I did. But ya, I really did had a sweet time in squash team. Even though it's just one short week, I had lots of fun.
I made new friends too in tennis team. They were awesome people. Juniors, but our birthdays are less than one year apart. Got to know a batchmate more in depth too.

In conclusion, sports really bring people closer together. You get to see who's there for you when you are down, and who's not. I am really glad to have a bunch of supportive friends. And am really thankful to be given the opportunity to learn. After all, this could be my first and last time joining a squash tournament. Could be my last chance of joining tennis tournament too.

Come to think of it, I joined at least 4 tennis tournaments in my life. Yet I still play like a beginner. Sometimes it's just a bit sad to know that fact. But slowly I am starting to accept the fact that I am slower, and thus I need to work harder. When it comes learning new skills that involves movements, I am really really slow. Dancing, Kawat, even clinical skills, everything. And sometimes I am really upset with myself. But I know all I can do is to work harder, even if I don't want to.

We can't always choose what we want to do. And we can't always refuse to do what we don't like to do.

I love what I am studying now. I really do. But when it comes to clinical skills I really can't perform. I sort of have a phobia. I am not professional enough. I am scared of making mistakes. It's different in written exam as you can always erase what you wrote wrongly. In OSCE exams, you can't always correct what you said. Enough said, I need more confidence. And once again I am really thankful for the bunch of people there who are always willing to help. At least I know I am not alone.

These days I am getting more and more sensitive and emotional too. I have no idea why. Is it stress? Or is it hormones? I am really curious. But my tear tolerance level is getting lower these few months. I need to be more prepared for challenges. Perhaps. And not surrender so easily.

All these problems that I am facing now are somehow driving me crazy. Until the point that I diagnosed myself with bipolar disorder (a disorder which one experiences extreme sadness, and also extreme happiness from time to time). Well, it's not impossible.
I need to study more. I think I studied okay last two months and am pretty satisfied with my results even though it's not an excellent one. I tend to have lower expectations of myself after exams, which is good. :) But for now, I certainly am not studying enough. And despite of knowing that fact, I am still not in my full speed study mode. This is horrible.

What I need now is not just time. I need to find the drive to study. The passion. Where did it go? I am still searching.
Time to get back on track. I know I can get there somehow. I just need more faith. and hard work.

啦啦啦~

2010-09-14T20:29:00.001+08:00

当～我们同在一起，在一起，在一起～

刚刚和朋友聚会回来。
somethings nvr change. 有的东西，真的不会改变。
就像我们这么久没有见面，还是可以找得到东西聊。
有的是有内容的话题，有的是很废很废的话题。
嗯。一聊就聊了6粒钟。很过瘾。很开心。

回家时，一个朋友说：“是时候找一些男朋友了。”
一些？几个呢？哈哈。真的。现在这个年龄，大家都好像离不开这个话题。就连自己也很鸡婆谁跟谁在一起。但很奇怪的是自己好像已经对这种东西没什么渴望了。可能是看戏看太多或是听朋友讲太多了。好像自己一个人会能够比较简单的过生活吧。

姐姐要去爬山了。我有一个免费的山可以爬。。但我真的没有时间，只好放弃了。

嗯。

这几天假期过的蛮不错的。好像有充电到。
希望开学时可以不要那么忙。希望自己可以好好地读完书。希望梦想可以慢慢实现。
我好贪心啊！有太多愿望了。

如果我可以有一个愿望，我希望我可以有很多愿望。哈哈哈！

好了。就这样吧。^_^

maybe I should just shut up. >_<

家

2010-08-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

:)

终于，过了一个月多，我又回家了。

感觉。很温馨。很幸福。很开心。

有妈妈爸爸。永远永远的怀抱。

如果可以在选一次，以前的我一定不会那么任性。

而让我感到心痛的是看见父母一天比一天的老去。

在庆祝着每一个生日的当儿，他们也慢慢的苍老着。

心。很痛。跟在我宿舍桌上的照片相差好远。那是我小时候跟他们的合照。

但不变的，使他们对我的爱与支持。

我想。这世界上。应该没有人可以比他们更伟大。没有人，可以像他们爱我一样的爱我。

很希望。自己永远不要长大。

:)

2010-08-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

:)
i have so little time and so many things to do. (and still constantly searching for new tasks for myself to complete/events to participate)
and yet when i m old I will have so much time and nothing to do.
how ironic!

* * * *
I am active in school events. But not because I want to show off. In fact, I want to be low profile. But how is that even possible when I am literally everywhere? So I am trying to live a moderately high profile life as low as possible. Every time I participate in things or events, I would always regret for participating. Reasons are: could have done better, could have used my time for studying.. blah blah blah. But the thing is, if I don't do it, I won't even know what I had missed in my life. .Whenever I feel like doing something, I would ask myself, would my gain be more than my regrets? If the answer is yes, proceed. ^_^

Ah. enough of the to do or not to do crap.

I watched 4 movies this month. But I felt that only one is truely worth the price. Inception is the best. And it only cost RM8 in IOI Mall GSC. Salt was... okay. I had too much expectation I guess. But I really disliked the ending. The other two are Twillight Eclipse (hm. I am seriously thinking of demanding a refund) and Vampire Suck (on friend's laptop. super hilarious. swt to the max).

Emo corner:
It's always a fine line between success and failure. And the grade between A and B or B and C is merely a few hours' of studying / a few mark's difference. Yet people take different grades so differently. AH. dislike exam grades. I wish they could just test me and let me know if I pass or not, instead of giving me the grades.

o.o

2010-06-30T00:10:00.001+08:00

people, please don't take me for granted.

i am trying very hard to satisfy all your desires and trying very hard to please everyone and trying very hard to help everyone.

so, please, don't take me for granted.

so many things happening at the same time.

but i m glad that i m not directly involved in most of the things.

instead of focusing on minor events,

maybe i should really just focus on my priorities.

Study, and be a good person in the future.

And hopefully I will not forget my one and only aim.

And hopefully at the same time I can carry out my responsibilities well(as a daughter, as a student, and as a member of all the clubs i got myself involved in) without going overboard (like being too enthu in one particular part that i neglect the other).

my last two sems were quite amazing.

but ya. next sem is going to be great. even better. i told myself.

i will make it great.

;)

blogging at 4am. i m mad.

2010-06-19T04:33:00.005+08:00

my book is overdued.

one ringgit per day.

i am two hours away from the book

and 36 hours away from returning the book.

i am anxious.

how could i be so forgetful!!

there goes my $ for nothing.

sudden thought of this made my cortisol level sky rocketed at 4.35am.

i am sure it's more than ten bucks already. T_T

TEN BUCKS! I CAN BUY THAT PINK SHIRT IN FOS ALREADY!

TEN BUCKS! I CAN DONATE IT TO CHARITY!

TEN BUCKS! I CAN EAT MC DELIVERY!!

haiz. what a very good lesson. but this is already my fourth time losing money due to overdued books. IMU got lots of extra income from my pocket (despite of paying so much for the fees).

****

RIP Mr.Wee and Joash, Jacinth and Jelyn Wee.
And may Jemima, Josiah and Mrs Wee recover soon.

My deepest regret is I had never talked to this family of 8 before even though they were merely 10 houses away.

May God bless their souls.

I am not a Christian, but I really want to believe what my friend said: God has bigger plans.

****

2010-06-17T02:24:00.002+08:00

I love to read blogs. Every blog tells a story from another person's perspective about their lives. It's amazing to know all those despite of years of not meeting each other. But ya, I do enjoy.

Another thing that I enjoy to "stalk" on facebook. I just love to know and see what other people are doing.
Through facebooking I can know more life stories about people who are simply too lazy to blog. But yeah I can only know through the photos.

Now I am having holidays. I love being able to do things at my own pace. But at the same time I can't wait for my new semester to start. Cardio, Respi,haemato, GI. These are the first four systems that I would be studying thoroughly in the next 6 months. Hopefully I can sail through everything smoothly. And I believe I will enjoy SEM3 more than my previous two semesters (as everything was too new and took me a while to get used to everything).

ECG looks interesting. And ya. I am glad that I am really looking forward for it. How weird. haha.

^_______________________________^

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-05-28T23:11:00.002+08:00

AH. FEELS LIKE SCREAMING! nope i m not havin any stress from exams. in fact i am living a very very free life.

i wan to scream cuz i dun understand certain pple n certain things! ><

AND I REALLY WISH I DUN CARE TAT MUCH but i do.

Praying really hard for all the people I care. Seriously.

haiz. why do i have this feeling that I am trying too hard and doing too much for something that doesnt seem to give significant changes? I prefer studying for exams. At least the effort and result u put in is a linear graph.

Once again, my favourite quote
"life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets it's hour upon the stage, and then it's heard no more, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

maybe it's time to give everything up, careless, go home, and care more about myself.
maybe i shud juz. let everyone live their own life, not interfere, and study everyday for myself.

maybe.

and i realise tat it really takes a lot of time to see flaws in people and take even longer time to accept the flaws in people.

江山易改，本性难移

2010-05-25T03:45:00.002+08:00

又到了日夜颠倒的假期生活了。讲真的，我也不是故意要这样。活着活着，渐渐的发现，夜晚的宁静，好像比较适合我。还蛮喜欢一个人做自己的事情，四周一定要是静静的。像我这种人，要嘛就早起，要嘛就迟睡。而我选了比较容易做的那项。

好久没有这样了。这样的颓废，这样的懒散，这样的不顾一切，这样的随便的乱生活
有人说这是很没纪律的生活但我还蛮喜欢的。呵呵
发现自己很两极化。要嘛就忙得要命要嘛就懒得要命
我不是一个对事事都要求很高的人不论我做哪一件事，只要事情最糟糕的后果能够被承担的话，我都无所谓。
像我这样的人我好像还没遇到。如果遇到了，我应该会劝他，要更努力，要要求完美。

呵呵呵觉得自己好像长不大

最近交了几个朋友，觉得很开心。好像找到了几个可以谈话的朋友，可以一起疯狂，一起欢乐。但还是觉得这些欢乐的时光，终究会过去。到头来，自己还是一个人。能享受，就珍惜。但还是要警惕自己，又是应该要把焦点放在自己身上多一点，读书读得多一点，这样未来一个人的时候，至少还能够用知识来充实自己。朋友们，只要一谈恋爱了，在亲密的朋友，也亲不过他的另一半。对于我的朋友，有时我会控制自己不要付出太多，否则失望的是我自己。

一直在讲“自己”。呵呵。

无论如何，目前的我很满意现在的生活。嗯。很满意了。不要求任何东西。只希望所有人可以开心，健康，平安，顺利。这样就够了。不需要荣华富贵，只求一家安康。

希望未来的自己，可以更加努力，更加有纪律。

^_________________________________^

Somehow

2010-05-06T20:47:00.006+08:00

Somehow, I am actually glad tat i didn't get JPA.
The course I applied for was german engineering, as I merely wanted something that was easy to get and study.

Alright, let's say if I got straight 1As and got any course I want.
I would never put medicine in my application as I thought I wanted a life like my brother's.

My siblings really influenced me a lot. My parents even more. Part of the reason I didn't want medicine when I was in secondary school was because my parents tried to instill the passion for medicine in me, somehow. They sort of encourage medicine even before my pre-u. I still remember my dad mentioning something about sending me for SAM right after SPM and study medicine in IMU. But it was just a random conversation.

I realised what kind of life I want after going through many phases of life. At first I thought that I am the kind who enjoys the spotlight and loves fame, glams, and want to be rich. When I was in form2 I wanted to be a businesswoman. haha. After that I thought of doing engineering, get a degree in MBA and own a very big company. I sort of plan out my life beforehand. Those were thoughts that motivated me a lot. Being successful and influential.

Back then I had friends who were really inspired that he/she wanted to be a doctor. The more inspired they got, the more I felt : i do not want to follow them. I want to be different. Why must everyone's ambition be doctor or pharmacy? I will be different!

But now, here I am. Having the same dream as more than 70% of all my friends. Yup. I had been through a lot. Things changed. And I am glad that I was given the chance to rise up after falling down many many times. But come to think of it, if I can get whatever I want that easily, I wouldn't be able to appreciate all the things I am studying now. And all the people I met would have been so different. I am glad that the friends I have around me who are not like the typical medical students from other medical universities. They study, they play, they laugh, they love, and most importantly, they share. ^____^ They just make my stressful life less stressful. :)

-The end-

^_________^

hmm...

2010-05-03T17:12:00.003+08:00

I received this via a forwarded email. I find it very interesting and decided to copy and paste the entire article here:

________________________________________________________________

Published in Sin Chew Jit Poh 2/12/2009 and freely translated into English.
夢醒時分 The moment when dream is awakened...

鄭丁賢• 夢醒時分
2009-12-02 20:49

你是否和我一樣，發覺身邊的親戚和朋友，似乎少了許多。
I wonder you feel the same as me, all the sudden I realized friends and relatives around me seems to get less and less.

以往接近過年時，各種聚餐排得滿滿的，而今年，似乎沒聲沒息。
Those years when the New Year drew near, all sorts of gathering appointments almost completely filled the diaries, but this year seems so quiet.

即使是平常日子，電話少了，與大家見面也少了。
Even in normal time, phone calls become less and less, face to face meet up also become much less.

也許，大家各忙各的；或者，目前流行“宅生活”，儘量避免出門。
Perhaps, everybody is busy with their own things, or perhaps, nowadays people prefer to stay in.

也不盡然如此。再想一想，很多老友和親戚，已經不在了。嗟！大吉利是，他們都還好好的，只是離開了馬來西亞。
However, it is not entirely like this, thinking further, actually old friends and relatives are not around any more. God bless, they are still alive and well, they just left the country, Malaysia.

去了中國大陸開工廠；王子不做工程師，移民到澳洲開小食檔；阿風離開本地大學，去香港做講師；青蛙去了台灣，開展事業第二春；還有的到了美國、英國，唔，還有去印尼的……。
They have gone to China to set factory; ah Wang quit his engineer job and migrated to Australia to set up his little food store business, ah Fong left the local University went to Hong Kong as a lecturer. 'Frog' went to Taiwan to pursue his second career life. Others went to Americia, England, even Indonesia...

起初，以為這只是個別現象，逐漸的，旁人也有同樣發現；原來，這不是個別現象，而是社會現象；這不是少數，而是相當大的數目。
At first, I thought these are individual cases, but gradually, people around me realized the same, these are not individual cases but a general symptoms of our society. they are not small numbers but the pretty big indeed.

外交部早前披露了一個數字，說明這個現象是多麼真實，多麼貼近。
Department of Foreign Affairs released the figures earlier, it confirmed the situation is real.

從去年3月到今年9月，已經有30萬大馬人移民他國；其中20萬人是今年1月到8月出走的數目。
From March 2008 thru September 2009, a total of 300,000 Malaysian migrated to other countries, among them 200,000 left between Jan - Aug 2009. (in 8 months)

累積下來，已經有超過200萬大馬人移民，接近今天印尼外勞在大馬的人口。
Cummulatively, there are 2 million Malaysian migrated, this figure is close to the number of Indonesian workers in Malaysia today.

不同的是，移居他國的大馬人，多是專業人士、中產階級。
The difference are, those migrated are mostly professional and middle class people.

他們有很多出走的理由，追求事業發展，為了孩子前途，尋找個人更大空間……，概括一句：對馬來西亞失望。
They have many reasons to leave: pursue career development, for the future of their children, in search of better life and environment... In one sentence, they lost hope of Malaysia.

50年前，大家說，馬來西亞真好，好過香港，甚至日本。
50 years ago people said: Malaysia is very good, better than Hong Kong and even Japan.

30年前，大家說，馬來西亞還不錯，比得上韓國、台灣（不提香港和日本了）。
30 years ago people said: Malaysia is not bad, comparable to S. Korea and Taiwan. (No mention of Hong Kong and Japan any more).

20年前，大家說，馬來西亞還可以，至少超越中國、泰國（不能和台、韓比了）。
20 years ago people said: Malaysia can do la, at least better than China and Thailand (Cannot compare with Taiwan and Korea lah)

10年前，大家說，馬來西亞再差，還不至於像越南、印尼（中國已是不同級別）。
10 years ago poeple said: No matter how bad Malaysia is, cannot be worse than Vietnam and Indonesia ko-ah. (China is already in a different category).

今日，越南和印尼的經濟成長率遙遙領先大馬，社會活力和知識發展也勝過一籌；距離愈來愈近了。
Today, the economic growth rate of Vietnam and Indonesia already far exceeded Malaysia, Social activity and intellectual development of the country is also better, the gap between us and them is closing up.

怕甚麼，還有菲律賓和柬埔寨、緬甸。
Why worry? there are still Philipines, Cambodia and Myanmar behind us.

但是，一位經濟學家最近到菲律賓考察之後，認為再過20年，大馬可以取代菲律賓，出口馬籍女傭到全世界了。
However, according to an economist who recently surveyed Phillipines, he think in 20 years' time, Malaysia can replace Phillipines to become the World exporter of Malaysian maids.

半個世紀以來，馬來西亞是在大宅院裡，用封建方式，分配祖宗家業，消耗社會資源，浪費和逼走人才；不談競爭力，忽略生產力，討厭績效制。
Over half the century, Malaysians live in the big old imperial housing complex, closed up and survive on properties left behind by the ancestor; continue to consume up social resources, wasteful, and drive away talents; they never talk about competitiveness, totally neglect productivity, and hate meritocracy.

亞洲金融風暴來襲時，大馬把門關起來，以為避過一劫，有人還自我陶醉，自以為是天才策略。
When Asia economic storm hit in 1997, Malaysia closed their doors, thinking we beautifully avoided a disaster, they even think of themselves as genius, being able to handle the situation so well.

然而，其它國家面對風暴，走出風暴，進行體質改革，跨步向前，登上另一個水平；大馬卻還在原地踏步。
However, just look at other countries in our neighbourhood, they stand up, face the storm, and walk out of the storm. They overhaul the system, improve the processes and march forward, they moved up to a new level. And Malaysia, still walking on the spot.

馬來西亞，該醒一醒了。
Dear Malaysia, it's time to wake up! We are very very late now!

For original article, please see link below:
http://opinions.sinchew-i.com/node/12566

____________________________________________________________

Interesting right. I agree with the part where most malaysians are desperately wanting to get out of this country. I have so many friends, and around half of them will be going overseas and settle down there in ten years' time. I have many many friends who are already in Singapore, studying (which I doubt if they would come back to malaysia to work). Most of the engineering students here are also aiming to get a better job in Singapore, China and other countries. How ironic. In my batch, 2/3 of my batchmates will be going to Partner Medical School in UK, US, Australia (which I doubt if they would come back if they have a choice) and 1/3 of us will be going to seremban (and we might also have plans to take an oversea entrance exam and leave this country).

Something is not right. I feel. Why are people fleeing away? I shall leave this question unanswered. But for now, I shall not think too much about other stuffs unrelated to my exam.

The End.

lalalala~

2010-04-29T12:30:00.002+08:00

finish my summative 2.

not to say i m unsatisfied.

I am quite sure that if I worked harder these few days it wouldn't make much of a difference. Cuz I worked quite hard already I think.

I used to think that the last few days before exam are the most important days.
Apparently, I am wrong.Everyday is important.

Hm. Perhaps I really need to push myself to my limit.

Plus. I need to really rearrange all my notes and remake some of them.

Other than these,
I really really don't know what else I can do.
I really really don't know how to get there and get better results.

The next two weeks will be quite unimaginable.

Hopefully I can go through everything successfully.

BLAH!

2010-04-20T10:18:00.000+08:00

I WISH I CAN CARE LESS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND CONCENTRATE ON MY STUDIES!

hahahahaha

2010-04-15T02:23:00.003+08:00

hahahaha

there are so many different people in this world.

people who react differently to different situation and think different in different situation

but i m glad that the people around me aren't that extreme. All are nice and fun.

Even though sometimes I might disagree with the way they do stuffs, but things always seem to turn out well at the end!

and I am more than glad to have different people in my life. There are those who might see me as enemy and see me as more inferior as compared to them. All I can say is they should thank me for making their lives more interesting (and i shall do the same too! haha)

and so regarding life, for now, I have a few regrets. Regrets of not being good enough when the time requires me to be good, and regrets of not being close enough to the people I am suppose to be close with. But most of the time, it's all God's will. I believe. I am not a christian, but I believe there is God and He decides everything that had happened, is happening, and will happen in the future. Of course, if I work hard, things will go in a way that favours me. That is what I firmly believe in. :)

i hate competitions. I dislike. I already had enough of all those in my past twenty years. comparing grades. comparing everything on earth. If given a choice, I wouldn't mind being the lousiest and make people feel better about themselves. Haha. But I can't do that due to various reasons. Those are the reasons that I must strive and work hard too. ^_^ I don't mind to be perceived as the stupidest person on earth. I really don't mind. If my stupidity can make your day, it might just be something worth doing. but if my stupidity can cost lives in the future, I wouldn't want that to happen. >.<

ya baby. way to go.

haha.
ignore ignore ignore about what other people think.
ignore ignore ignore about all the unhappy things.

I am really grateful to have many people supporting me from behind. people who I know will always be there forever and for now. thank you.

:)

LALALALA!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seal all my unhappiness with a LAUGH!

laughter is the best medicine. i wonder if it is adrenergic or cholinergic agonist?

^_^

2010-04-09T14:32:00.002+08:00

exam is in less than 3 weeks' time and i am still so unprepared.

I think I really need to do some serious studying. for now I am only reading through all my notes without really memorising them by heart. I just hope that my adrenalin and cortisol level will help push me to my extreme and unleash my potential when the time comes.

I haven't do my AIR topic. This homework was given 3 months ago and due by 12th April. I haven't even read my references. Something about lead toxicity. Around 7-8 pages of words font 10 I think. I need to "summarise" the whole thing to less than 500 words. If you ask me, I think english language does play a role in doing this. luckily it only contributes 1% for our end of year exam. For that 1% (which I don't think I can get even 0.7) I need to spend like 3-4 hours to complete. I am not complaining.

First Aid club will be having our first training. And I shall announce it to the batch. pretty easy it may seem. I just hope that I can wake up in time to announce it to other batches.

and one more thing. I was elected as the secretary for my house. I didn't even want to go to the house meeting in the first place but due to peer pressure (or shall I say senior pressure) I went. Well. It's not a bad thing, I mean. I get to learn and meet new people. But I think I will only be busy next semester, if I can go to sem 3. If not, I guess I will just drop everything on my hand and concentrate on studies full time. More commitments to come. I don't know why I have the tendency of making myself really busy. :)

but yeah. this is me. i didnt plan to go for any of the positions but i don't really mind accepting them. People vote for you because they trust your capabilities. And that is why I will try to make sure that I carry out my duties. I am sure that I won't be having all these fun next time when I enter the work force. To be able to work together on a project, interact with people, and have no worries on the outcome of any events as long as I tried my best. Ya. I enjoy this. In a way. ^__^

at the same time, I must constantly remind myself that I am a medical student, not event organiser. My parents didn't spend money to enable me to play here. Haha.

That's all for today I guess.

all the best for everyone who will be having their exams.

i am here AGAIN!

2010-04-02T13:09:00.002+08:00

WAH! I just realised that my post these days are a bit toooo EMO!

alright! actually my life is super happening with lots of events here and there! basically I LOVE My life to the max! and yeah thankfully I have great pple in my life (my friends and my dearest housemates>> muaks) to share my life story with!

ahem ahem. so what did i do these days!
besides studying (of cuz must mention larr...) i found another new hobby which is to take pictures of P.D.A (Public show of affection) of people I know, and scandalous pictures here and there (of the people I know also). dun ask me to get a life. my life is great. but thankfully for them, my phone's camera is super super low quality, and so even if u stare at the picture for one whole day u couldn't figure out who is who. i am the only one who knows. MUAHAHA!

other than that, we have welcoming parties here and there for various clubs, which means free food here and there! haha! i was quite saddened when our main cafe operator terminated their contract, replaced by another cafe operator which sell food similar to matrik food (the only diff is that no flies are flying around).... well. it just brings back lots of memories. and the private pre-u students were actually quite shocked to find out how matrik students survived matrik. but for me, it's a very good experience and i LOVE my pre u very much!

hmmm...........................

what else. let's see.

omg i cant believe my exam is in a few weeks time!

WELL! i will be attending another free food session (ops i mean welcoming party) soon. it actually started already but I think i wil just be late so that they can have time to get ready the FOOD and everything. haha! so cheap lar~ but yeah.... if i don't eat i think they can't finish also.. so i m actualy doing a good deed! ^___^

something wrong with my laptop. the speaker problem. argh i really miss my long lost acer laptop to the max. seriously. i really do. it's a very good lesson though to not leave laptops anywhere whether safe or unsafe. apart from carrying ur laptop with you and locking ur laptop in ur room, everywhere else is considered unsafe!

and yeah. i think that have people love us, we must learn to love ourselves to the max first! hahaha!

ya and i attended the first ever dharma talk in my life a few days ago. quite interesting and i feel that i learnt something... to be honest i feel that i know more about christianity and islam than my own religion. so it's quite new for me. i wasn't really properly exposed to buddhism and was brought to church a couple of times. i have 3 muslim roommates before so basically i know quite a lot. haha. i guess it's always good to keep an open mind for all these things.

to be honest, i don't really believe in life after death. i just find it hard to accept. ops. it's a personal opinion. please dun ban my blog.

alright. i shall be going for my FREE FOOD!! HAHAHA OFF I GO!

:)

i got a feeling.. that tonight's gonna be a good night.. that tonight's gonna be a good night...... that tonight's gonna be a GOOD GOOD NIGHT!

DUN WE ALL JUST LOVE FRIDAYS TO THE MAX! OMG I LOVE FRIDAYS!!!!!!

^_____________________^

2010-03-27T13:46:00.003+08:00

i wish i know what i am doing.

just read a post on "what is happiness" on someone's blog

well. what is happiness to me? it sets me thinking.

perhaps. happiness is to be able to do something I like to do that can last for a long time.

i guess.

hm.

2010-03-13T14:02:00.004+08:00

I wish i can study without feeling bored.

* * *

Watched a video about Jack Neo Affair Scandal Press Conference.
His wife is really forgiving I must say. And his wife loves him so much that she is willing to appear there.

All these affairs are really discouraging facts about marriage. I agree that sometimes, women flirts here and there from time to time, but after they settle down, they really do.

BUT men? Their charms never seem to finish. Or so they think.

It's normal for men to be older than his wife by a lot, but not vice versa. Well. What to do. This means that girls have shorter time and lesser chances to be attached to someone.

Population of females seem to be more than males everywhere I go.

According to Islam, the end of world approaches when female population outweighs male population. hm. interesting.

Getting attached to someone requires a lot of strength and commitment for girls. Imagine life after marriage. It's not always as sweet as sweets. Is he the one who is willing to accompany you till the end of time? Will he still love you the same way ten years later? All these are questions that should be answered before anything else.

* * * *

Time flies.
Before I knew it. I am 20 this year. I have been living for 20 years.
I believe that before I realise, I will already be 24, finishing my med school, working as houseman till 26, continue to work with the government while studying really hard for some random exams after my houseman.

Will I have time for other people in my life?
Will I have time for family?

* * * *

I think that the best combination for male medical student is to get a wife from another line in healthcare profession. Either pharmacist, dentist or dietitian.
If I were a boy, I would like to have a big sumptuous meal after work. Dietitian can cook very well. Pharmacist and dentist have time to cook, at least, and also to clean the house or look after kids and stuffs.

But that's for guys.
For female doctors, well, you either get a very understanding male doctor who doesnt mind not having regular meals, or don't get anyone at all.

* * * *

hm. maybe i m thinking too much.

I SHOULD STUDY FIRST LA!

hahaha

eat eat eat

2010-03-09T19:27:00.003+08:00

i have been eating a lot these days.

well. who cares. but after having the atherosclerosis lecture, i m starting to wonder. are my arteries turning like that soon? hope not.

I got an injury on my leg a few days ago, around 6cmX2cm of my epidermal layer is gone (stratum corneum, granulosome, basale? cant remember sem 1 stuffs. haiz). The photos shown on the slides during my lecture looked like the one on my leg. all the acute inflammation, neutrophils... it's amazing to learn that all these things are taking place while i m sitting around eating char siew pao.

just to note, i always have fresh new cuts or bruise (abrasions? lacerations?) every two to three days. guardian plasters are cheap in both price and quality. but at least it looks like my skin colour, less noticeable.

I cant believe in less than 7 weeks i will be having one of the toughest exams in my life. no it's not stpm. but this one is quite life threatening as the result of failing the exam is unimaginable (well. i will try not to.) i have to remember and understand all my sem 2 stuffs, and on top of that, 100+ notes from semester 1. I think I will be very smart by the end of this year.

They always say med school is 5 long years. But for me, it's 5 short years. TOO SHORT! HOW TO REMEMBER? Even my holidays are like less than one month plus in one whole year.

but the most important thing is, i know i will not regret for what i chose. at least for now. :)

i hate

2010-03-04T09:42:00.003+08:00

1) my blurness

2) some weird monsters existing on earth which has been eating up my possessions like laptop and hp all the time

3) people who are insincere

4) people who lie and act as if they are good

5) people who think that they are very good (academically or they perceive themselves to have very good personality. there is a very fine line between self confidence and egoistic)

6) people who talk more than listen (i m like that sometime and i hate that)

7) people who don't respect other people

8) irresponsible people who signed up for stuffs but never or rarely show commitment

9) all irresponsible people

10) people who throw rubbish on the floor in public places

11) people who spend money like it's their own when it's not

12) pretentious people who said they never study when they study like hell

13) people who break their promises

basically. i hate a lot of people.

i don't mind :

1) being tall and fat but not too fat

2) befriend people who are very hyper when necessary

3) making fun of myself to make people laugh

4) not having a boyfriend

5) not getting an A in exam (well. depends.)

6) being ugly and unnoticed

i like:

1) nice food

2) nice movie

3) nice dramas and shows

4) nice books

5) interesting people

6) smart people who doesn't go around asking and testing people questions

7) be emo and quiet and do things associated with 1 to 4

8) sleep

LALALA

2010-02-10T21:53:00.002+08:00

tomorrow is the last day of cny celebration in my uni. well. i have a mixed feelings. even though i didnt really enjoy thoroughly, but engaging myself in activities never failed to disappoint me in various ways. The most important thing that i gained is bonding. It's very interesting to work with people under pressure, and u get to see their true colours (I get to show mine too) from time to time. People whom you thought are nice might not turn out nice and vice versa. Experience is what I gained. I am not talking about experience of making events happening or acquiring the skills of making paper tiger, but more importantly, how to interact with people, and how to get to know people better. Instead of getting lots and lots of new friends, I would prefer to get to know some of the existing people I already knew (trying hard to do that).

I already found my aim in life, and now my main fear is that I might drift away from it. However, I am still living my life to the fullest, trying to enjoy every single day, and try to appreciate everyone I meet. I don't really mind being single for the rest of my life (sometimes I do but yeah most of the time I don't), as I think I already know how I would live my life unattached. haha.

:)

i am very weird lar. i know.

ahhahaha

2010-02-09T16:26:00.003+08:00

i tend to dislike people very easily. people tend to dislike me too. well. most of the time.

it's my problem i guess. something i need to change.

i m the kind of person who tried very hard to put others in front of me but at the end of the day failed terribly and end up positioning myself first. confused? yeah. i am.

i m a weirdo.

i have 15 learning issues (sort of like a topic) to search for and i have to get them ready by tomorrow 2.30pm. so dead.

haiz!

i think i am starting to dressed up nicely recently. it's not a good thing. it attracts unnecessary attention fr0m time. i dunno y i m doing it also. maybe after new year i will go back to my old fashion style. depends.

alrite. tat's all.

ahahahaha

2010-02-07T04:19:00.002+08:00

WAH! I cant believe i chatted with my housemate for such a long period of time! haha.

things i accomplished today:

1) PBL half completed

2) CNY decoration almost completed

3) written some chinese calligraphy to be pasted. (so long didnt write already! super enjoyable and relaxing)

Today's Reflections

Writing calligraphy reminds me of my primary school to secondary school life. That was the period of time when I learnt calligraphy. It really affected my life in such a way that, it's not very obvious and doesn't stand out, yet it's significance is beyond imagination. I used to think that I am learning calligraphy because all my siblings knows how to write. However, I never regret for learning calligraphy. I dare not say I am very passionate towards it, but there were times where I really loved it and tried to master it so well. The passion faded a bit, but the enjoyment remains. It gives me a sense of achievement, and reminds me of my past. How I always go for lessons on saturday afternoons. How I met lots of interesting people there, and how my teacher taught me. Every single thing, every single detail, was so long ago, yet still so clear in my memory. It's the period of time I would love to go back, and enjoy the fun of not worrying about so many things in life.

And I still remember all the lessons I received when I was young. Not to say a lot, but I never regret going for them. My piano lessons were quite stressful, and I didn't become another beethoven or mozart. My swimming lessons were terrible equally. I couldn't swim fast enough and wasn't specifically trained to represent school (even though I did represent school and lost once). My drawing lessons stopped when I was ten, and I didn't win in school competitions like my siblings. My tennis lessons (RM20 per month only) which I started learning with all the kindergarten kids. Despite of all the failures of mastering them, I still remember all the skills I obtained, how to colour and how to draw, even though those were just basics crayon skills, how to play wonderful pieces, being able to play simple melodies by ear, how to swim and play tennis to destress even though I might lose to people from time to time. I might be Jack of all trades, but master of none. But I am enjoying life my way, and need not be the best in everything. By the way, I didn't learn everything in one go, I learnt different things in different stages of my life. It's part of growth. Investing in knowledge is the greatest thing one can ever give to a child. This is one thing I learnt from my parents. We never had big big Mercedes or BMW, we never had big big PS2, we never have big plasma tv when I was young, we never have too much luxurious items, my hair was always cut by my mom until I was 16, my parents hesitated each time they spent money on things, yet, they never hesitated to pay for my tuition fees, to pay for my education and knowledge. This is something I treasure a lot, and shall apply if I were to have children next time.

Sorry if my grammar is bad. I am kinda sleepy. so i juz say watever tat's on my mind. haha.

Sometimes (well most of the time) I find myself very controlling. This is bad. I must stop and start listening to others.

2010-02-04T21:53:00.003+08:00

I have nvr been so sure abt anything.

I do not like it when we are forced to cram everything in to our brain and regurgitate them on the spot during exams.

But for now,

I love what I am studying. seriously.

and I shall do everything I can to pursue knowledge, regardless of the grades I get in exams.

busy day

2010-02-02T19:51:00.002+08:00

1) chinese new year decorations, food preparations, performance arrangements... it's all fixed!

2) In Support Of Women (Club) : Valentine's Day + Cervical Cancer Vaccination Campaign.

well.

i x deny that i really do enjoy all these activities. and i bet i will enjoy orientation if i join in as OO (Orientation Organiser?). But the truth is, can I cope with my studies? Many people suggest that I can float, meaning I appear less and help out less. But how can I resist FUN when I have the assess to it?

Besides. The commitment of joining the orientation scares me off a bit. I can hardly have time for myself I think.

To be honest.

I just want to be a doctor who I will go to when I am sick.

That's all.

swimming

2010-01-31T22:31:00.001+08:00

swimming always clear my mind off things.

o.o

2010-01-31T19:18:00.003+08:00

heartache. haiz.

pls. i hope the thing i predict will happen will not.

it's not something bad though.

well. it's something beyond my control. and to tell the truth, it doesnt concern me at all.

but the fact that i cared so much affected me a lot.

i need to know. i wish to know. i want to know.

and even if it happens, i shall accept it, with a very very happy heart.

i hope.

'__'

maybe i shud blog.

2010-01-31T01:57:00.002+08:00

hi. my name is kai xin. but i am not a very kai xin person. so names (whether it's meaning or just sound alike)doesnt help in changing your child's personality.

well. a couple of things happened today. good and bad. it's a bit. surreal. i dunno why.

first: the washing machine is finally delivered. bad news? the faucet doesnt seem to match. too bad.

second: my housemate wei yee's birthday. happy birthday to her.

third: i wished a friend of my happy belated birthday a day before her birthday.

and i just discovered something. when i am really stressed, i cant seem to eat anything. i woke up at 8.30am today and didnt eat anything till 4.00 pm cuz i was too stressed by the washing machine as it cannot be successfully connected to a faucet. it's good in a way i guess, since i eat so much most of the time.

things that i do when i m unhappy or stressed:

1) extremely quiet. respond to all questions with yes or no answers.

2) zero or very little food intake. including water.

3) i tend to dress nicer than usual.

my new hobby? cooking. it's fun to eat your own food.

okie. bye.

2010-01-25T11:30:00.002+08:00

hm.

my next semester will be tough. That's a fact that I have always known. But I never know it is THAT tough.

First off. my pbl group mates are all genius.

Second. my pbl faci is Mr Tan.

This two statements indicate that I really need to do my PBL before each session or I will die.

* * * *

I hope that the activities that i participate in SEM 2 like ISOW and CNY celebration can be successful.

* * * *

I still havent buy a laptop. I am either not satisfied with the specs or the price. It's like, I am expecting to get a 4GB ram, T6600 laptop with less than RM2000. Impossible right. The one the is closest to my requirement is Acer 4736, which is an updated version of my dear lost acer 4736g. It's one hundred bucks more (2399), but with 500G hard disk (instead of 350) .

but. i juz couldnt bear to buy it. it's the same model. so when i c it, i will think of that past tragic event.

* * * *

I just bought a 699 toshiba fully functional washing machine. it's delivering to my hostel apartment this saturday. means that i dun have to handwash my clothes anymore. isnt that awesome.

* * * *

I have been spending too much money on these things. must save.

* * * *

when to masjid jamek via lrt. i tot i wanted to go USJ at first. turns out that they have traffic jam even after 9am and even if i go my mum cant fetch me. at first i tot i wanted to save so i bought a RM1 mee goreng. after i was told that my trip is wasted, i was so angry that i spend RM9.20 on McBreakfast (filet o fish hash brown orange juice). ate everything in mc donalds. regret now cuz RM10.20 could have last me for like 2 days.

* * * *

ah. c.o.p

i wish my english is better. so i can write better reports and read books faster.

i am not unsatisifed.

2010-01-25T00:57:00.003+08:00

just that i know i could have done better.

maybe. i m juz a bit greedy.

but. don't we always expect a bit more from reality?

i tot wat i did was sufficient. apparently i need to work much harder.

I need to start doing something!

2010-01-16T04:21:00.004+08:00

Alright. Here's my new year resolution:

1) Make full use of my time.
2) Don't waste so much time.
3) Gain more knowledge for future purposes.
4) Study not just for exams but for my own good.
5) Stay focus to my goals.
6) FACEBOOK and YOUTUBE LESS!
7) Eat more healthy food
8) Be less emo.
9) Try and wake up early and sleep early instead of the other way round.

that's all.

* * * * *

Went out with wan ling pei fen su jia shi hwee wei fen to Sushi King.
I was shocked to see the amount of customers they have. Even more shocked to see the menu price list. HELLO, WE ARE IN MUAR! not KL! Why are we having KL rated food here? First secret recipe, then this... haha.
But we had a great time.
there were even familiES waiting outside to be seated! the amount of people is just shocking.
and the food, well. it's nice, but, not THAT nice... i can get the same food i had half the price in mid valley's sushi sanmai.
compare to the chicken rice shop right in front of sushi king, pathetic. They only have 2 customers.
and guess what. judging by the colour of the receipt, the cashier sort of ran out of ink. meaning they really have a lot of customers. Mind you, this is only the first few days of their operation!

the wage, well, it's quite ok for muarean rate. For full time, RM800 per month, 6 days a week, 8 hours per day, and every extra OT is paid 1.5ringgit. around RM4.2 per hour. Like pizza hut.
But still. the work load is. a lot.

ANYWAY. It's just amazing that how we all can talk to each other even though we didn't meet for like ages! Never seem to run out of topic! every second was so well-spent! hahaha! And even though all of us are going towards different paths and have our own group of friends outside, we still manage to stick around with each other like that. This is simply amazing! They are the group of people I really enjoy hanging out with. (No emo feelings! Laughters everywhere!)

i hope that our friendships can continue forever~~ ^__________^

hm.

i have decided to write less emo stuff in my blog and more happenings in my life! emo stuff should all go somewhere else and be kept as a secret. i dun wan pple to view me as an emo person. even though i am. :)

alrite. had an amazing day. that's all.

3 wks left

2010-01-13T21:20:00.000+08:00

aw. my holiday. it's finishing soon.
i haven really accomplished anything.
perhaps i should start planning what i should really do and make full use of this holiday.

2010-01-10T00:39:00.005+08:00

It's better than I thought.
And note the differences between this lead male character and the typical taiwanese idol drama male lead characters:
1) Even though he is rich, the lead character doesnt drive big sport cars around like other dramas. He takes public transport.
2) The rich people doesn't really show off their wealth that much compare to other dramas (which are quite ridiculous sometimes)
3) Instead of taking over a huge empire, the lead character decided to be a doctor to serve the poor.

well. i think i need to grow up and stop watching all these. but who can resist the temptation of Jiang Zhi Shu (the lead character)? He (apart from being rich) has IQ200, tall good looking, good at sport, smart and dun fell for girls because of their looks. Ya. I know such person doesnt exist in real life. Don't have to remind me. Boys, watch and learn.

日有所思，夜也有所思

2010-01-09T05:08:00.003+08:00

本来已躺在床上准备入眠的我，却因为脑子里想着太多东西而睡不着。很多人说我想太多了，但我想这么多也不过是因为我很在乎。

想着这几年来经过的事情。从小学到中学，生活是无忧无虑。人生唯一的目标也好像只是考好成绩。那时的我，好像只知道，我只需要读书，学习，参加科外活动。根本没有去想太多一后的事情。未来也会很好。

刚升国中时，我的愿望是当一名生意女强人，还去看很多做生意人的书:Robert Kiyosaki 的富爸爸，穷爸爸等。后来的志愿是天文学家，还因此开了个网站，但资料全都是从别人的网站拿来然后参在一起，做得废寝忘食。等做到一半时才明白什么是plagiarism。原来不可以乱抄别人的东西。也想过要用网站赚钱，还做了一个tunku abdul rahman的，后来因为有人投诉资料错误，我因为还怕触及法律问题（我才１５岁）就把他拿掉了。最后在我中四中五的时候，也是我哥哥毕业于电子工程系之后，觉得他的工作好像蛮不错的，于是决定朝着那个方向走。

证据：http://www.freewebs.com/theastronomysite/index.htm
去search的话找得到哦。

姐姐的生日礼物：
http://kailin.50webs.com/

做给朋友的：（呵呵）
http://juz4charlotte.50webs.com/

到了进大学先修班真正有机会接触电子类的科目时，才发现自己真的没兴趣。工程系的工作有太多升职加薪的成分了。

现在回想一下。讲真的，医科一直都是我从小想做，却又因为不想跟大家一样而不肯承认是愿望的一个职业。我不是一个伟大的人，也很怕别人说我伟大，但我真的很向往可以用自己知识去换取生命的使命。可能有的人会觉得我异想天开吧。但我就是这样。没办法。

这一年来，经历了好多，也接触了不同的人。我觉得一个人的性格会受家境所影响。这一点是肯定的。私立大学与政府大学的人真的很不一样。从思想文化到金钱观念，甚至待人处世，都很不同。让我有点ｃｕｌｔｕｒｅ　ｓｈｏｃｋ。　但不同也不是不好的事情。这几个月来我的思想确实改变了很多。在我的大学，个个都是郎才女貌，几乎每个所以人都有一项才艺。起初我很好奇，为什么这里的人都这么厉害？或许很多人都没有想过，但其实这些才艺除了学生本身勤于练习之外，金钱也扮演了很重要的角色。因为父母有额外的金钱，所以才有能力送孩子去学额外的东西。家境比较好的，前途也比较光明。这是也是不能否认的。不知道有多少学生因为金钱的约束而不能完成自己的梦想。尤其是这么昂贵的医科。说真的，我认识很多比我优秀的人面对这样的问题。

与朋友出门，经常花到超出自己的预算。这一两百块买的很多时候都不是必需品。若省吃俭用，还能过一个月。或许对有些生意人来说，几十千算不了什么。但我不得不警惕自己，学费与花费的每一分钱，都是父母用苦力与劳力赚来的。

有时候听到爸爸说他的学生有一些家境不是很好，成绩却不够拿奖学金。一些是单亲的，一些是比较穷还要去打工的（中学生哦）。他们却很努力很用功，让我自己觉得很惭愧。我有那么多次那么好的机会，却一次又一次的失手，而现在的我，也不算是１００％的努力。回想当初进私立之前，我对自己许下的承诺，似乎还没完成。现实生活的真相离我这么近。每次回家看到的是为了三餐温饱而努力的学弟学妹；到学校上课看到的是每逢假期出国旅游的同学们。真的。很不平衡。这也让我更看清楚自己的目标：跟以前不一样的，不只是考好成绩，而是要真正学习到以后可以帮助别人的知识与技术。（如果我就这样随便读随便毕业，到不如把花在学费上的金钱捐给有需要帮助的人，可以帮好多人啊～）

我觉得。自己。看到了很多事情。
要是我的人生很顺的话，我应该学不到这些东西。

讲到来。我很感谢身边的人。我的家人。我的朋友。
因为有他们，我不只是为了未来而活，我也为现在而活。
因为有他们，我的生命更有意义。

phew. holidays. chill.

2010-01-06T18:36:00.002+08:00

my previous post sounds a bit aggresive. i know. haha.

well. including today, I had wasted 6 days of my holidays. I didn't do anything useful or beneficial. But one thing is for sure. I love staying at home and I love my family. That's the most important thing for me.

I am not a christian. But I do know that God is there and that He is important. However, sometimes I can't understand why certain people place God over their parents; or stop saving people's life because they feel that God is there to save him and bring him to a better place. This is why I find it hard for me to accept this belief. Many of my friends tried explaining to me and tried to convert me. But sadly, I do not share the same faith. For me, my family comes first. My parents and my siblings comes first before anything else in this world. My friends and my teachers come next, and then myself. But sometimes, it also depends on who needs my help more. There are times which my friends need me more than my family. When I am given a task, I make sure that I do my best, and then only I hope for the best. Because I know, those who work hard will get what they want eventually.

Having friends of many religions give me an eye opener of what I truly want in life. My parents are not strong buddhist. But reading and understanding buddhism calms my mind. Just for your information, buddhism is very different from taoism.

PHEW. Just my personal opinion. no offense to people of other religion.

holidays! whee~ love it.
maybe i should start doing some beneficial things.

^_^

HOSPITAL

2010-01-04T11:57:00.004+08:00

If your hospital reject those who couldn't pay for the cost, it should be renamed "Hospital for the RICH".

If your hospital reject those who are terminally ill and might not have much chance of surviving, it should be renamed "Hospital for the HEALTHY".

If your hospital likes to run all sorts of tests of patient in order to earn their money, it should be renamed "Hospital for those-who-love-test".

I am very saddened by the fact that some of Malaysian private hospital actually do those things stated above. As a doctor, how could you reject a patient if you know you can actually save him or make him feel better? How could you let a patient wait for death to come? ARE YOU SURE YOU HAD TRIED YOUR BEST? You should be ashamed of yourself. Life and death is no joking issue. People give you their hope and this is how you destroy their hope. Terminally ill patients don't have much time and they use the last few hours of their life to seek your help. If you could just extend their lives by even one hour or one minute, I would say it's still worthwhile. Not just because their families and loved ones would thank you. This is something you should do. The oath that we all take upon entering med school. Perhaps some doctors had seen people dying too often that they are used to it, and they feel that there's no point delaying it. This is the only thing that I could come up with after I try to think in their shoes.

All doctors should treat patients the way they would treat their mothers. Give them the best.

I am glad that I am able to see, think and learn about the compassion and attitude a doctor should have while studying this very hard course. I know what kind of doctor I want to be, and I hope that I can achieve that in the future. I am actually worried for medical students who couldn't see what I am seeing now and feel what I am feeling now. What kind of doctor would they become? If you lack the most basic skill of feeling for your patients and their families, then all the knowledge you learnt in med school is as good as gone. (imagine. ALL, anatomy physiology pharmaco microbiology pathology....... down the drain.)

iT'S juST SAD!

(THANKFULLY, WE STILL HAVE GOVERNMENT HOSPITAL. Although some may say gov hospital are of inferior standards, at least they never reject patients.)

TO all med student. PLEASE be a good doctor. The world begs you for doing that. If you can't, then don't be a doctor at all. You are risking people's life. IT'S SERIOUS and DEADLY! On top of that, study hard as the more you study, the better you become.

TO EVERYONE : BE A GOOD LEARNER. BE A GOOD PERSON.

blogging

2010-01-04T01:09:00.002+08:00

After reading some of my friends' blog, I feel like blogging. It's fun reading other people's life story from their own perspective. And it's fun knowing what people are doing while having fun. Blogging and reading blog is a fun thing to do. You can tell a lot about one's personality by reading how people write about their life. And I am actually enjoying it. One of my favourite past time is to know people and find their strengths and weaknesses(sounds freaky but this is something I do subconsciously). Reading blogs enable me to know people in depth (to a certain degree i suppose).

I can't conclude everything that had happened in the past few months, as they were simply too much, but overwhelming. I am glad that all is well ends well. I had been through lots of ups and downs, met lots of interesting people that I never thought I would ever meet in my life, and of course, learnt a lot and grew.

Every single exam made me grow. Either big or small exams. From exams you can tell a lot about life. How different people take exams differently amazed me. Some may treat exam as a life and dead situation in which they must score every single one of them. Some would just simply let fate and luck play their role. For me, I guess I am somewhere in between. Careless mistakes cost me some marks. Overall, I knew I had tried my best, just that I should have performed better by being more careful with the questions.

I am now on a very risky journey towards something I know I truly want. And I am more than glad to have a bunch of friends with me who share the same dream, who is willing to lend a helping hand whenever possible, and to know that they are there lessen my worries. In med school, it's very hard to stand alone. Learning is extremely enjoyable with them and I truly appreciate it. I don't think I have seen people like them in my life ever. They are the kind of people who work hard and play hard. However, I am very different from them. I play and work at the same time. I need this balance in life.

I have utterly no idea how I should study for my following semesters. I believed I had been pretty studious in my previous semester but that doesn't seem to be enough. I am scared, but excited about what the future beholds.

I haven't meet my muarian friends for ages. But I am glad to know that they are doing great (by reading their blogs of course). Sometimes I thought. Everyone has a very different story going on in their lives. And every single story is like a good book, with ourselves as the main character. Isn't this amazing?

I am still very thankful for what I have now. And I shall strive to it worthwhile.

Avatar and sherlock holmes are great movies. Must watch.

Home sweet home

2009-11-07T22:01:00.002+08:00

Didnt update for so long........

I am enjoying life now. And I know someday I will miss this moment very very much.
I am glad that I have finally embarked on a path that I have hesitated for a very long time.
Life is a good teacher. I learnt a lot. And I am glad that I am given a second opportunity.

i m sleepy

2009-08-04T15:25:00.000+08:00

now i m having my c programming class as usual.

AND I M SLEEPY!

i joined robocon and i had fun.

i should had put mechatronic instead of electronic engineering.
not that electronic isnt good.. but i think i would enjoy making robots than making small circuits.
at least the sense of accomplishment is bigger.

in robocon, we are required to make one autocar and one mechanism assignments.

the autocar will have to complete certain task (go around the black line in one round, then put the ping pong ball at certain place...).

i have lots of circuits to be completed. currently, i finished doing voltage regulator, ir sensor, PIC circuit and boot-loader circuit.

i still have one comparator circuit (which i had already planned. hope it works) , one motor driver circuit, and i have to program my autocar (which is most probably the hardest part).

I enjoy finishing my circuits and seeing the small led lights up. but other than that, the process is tortorous. I happen to choose the wrong souldering gun several times (in which the gun is too hot and my timah was totally uncontrollable). I learnt a lot.

If i can join the robocon team, i believe i will gain a lot of knowledge.

let's c where future takes me.

:)

mess

2009-07-31T16:10:00.004+08:00

what a mess.

sometimes i wonder why do we do the things we did. i wish someone can explain that to me.
I went through lots of things these days. my life has not been smooth after my secondary education. Things are getting harder and tougher. Though I do enjoy some of the things I did, but most of the time, I tend to regret.

Regret is a very strong and useful word in my life. I regret doing a lot of things. But sometimes i will think: if I don't do it, who knows what's gonna happen to me?

Besides, no matter how hard I try, there will always be people better than me, smarter than me, and happier than me. All I want to do is just be myself. But sometimes, being myself irritates me. I wish that I can be a more passive person. The fact is, I talk a lot, express myself too much, and that annoys people including myself.

I like to observe, understand, see and judge people or things a lot. I like to critic and express my dissatisfaction. But when it comes to myself, I failed to do that terribly. I failed to understand how to improve and change my weaknesses to strengths. I failed to be well accepted and well-liked by others. I failed a lot of things in many aspects.

Enough of my expressive thoughts.

I am facing lots of stress lately. I guess. And when I stress, I eat.

tomorrow there will be a blood donation campaign. I feel like donating my blood for the third time in one year (previously was on october 08, march 09). how cool is that. Please don't think that I have the heart of an angel by saying that I want to donate blood. I am way evil than that. I am not a good person. Muahahaha.

but experts say u will get fatter after u donate blood. quite true. but who cares.

by the way, i am type A. I wish to be have a blood type A personality though. I am too active. >.<

2009-06-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

I am very scared of uncertainties in life.
Am I smart enough?

In Remembrance

2009-06-17T21:28:00.005+08:00

Life is short. yet fragile. And these people lived their life gloriously before they take their vacation from life. Their death shocked me and set me thinking : what kind of life do I want before my time comes? what kind of person do I want people to remember me as? Some may say that I am thinking too much. But it's never too much when you are planning to live your life your way.

Bernie Mac (October 5, 1957 – August 9, 2008)
He was only 50 years old when he left us. Pneumonia took him away. But it can't take away the achievements and memories he left in the Hollywood industry. He starred in Ocean Twelve, Ocean Thirteen, Transformers, Charlie's Angels and was the voice for Zuba the lion (father of Alex) in Madagascar 2. I only knw about it after I watched Madagascar 2, when the crews thanked him during the ending credits for his laughs all these while. How touching.

Xu Wei Lun (November 13, 1978 – January 28, 2007)
She was one of the most talented actress in Taiwan. Graduated with a major in French, she could play piano and harp beautifully. She starred in many popular taiwanese drama. She once said that she would get married when she turned 30. But she was only 29 on that day. Her death shattered many people's heart. mine included. It was a tragic car accident.

Ah Sang (February 28, 1975 - April 6, 2009)
She is a singer, and was once very popular. However, she seemed to disappear for a few years. While many are still waiting for her comebacks, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and left us quietly. Her most popular song, "叶子" meaning the leaves, is one of my favourite.

Many great people might have left. But they shall always be remembered, for how great they once lived. It alerts me how important it is to cherish the things I have now, my family, my friends, the people I know, the things I have seen, the places I been to, and the love I received from everyone I loved dearly.

To all
If there's something you have always wanted to do but haven't do it due to many reasons, forget about the lame excuses you have given yourself (e.g: I am too busy / It's not necessary / What would others think if I do that? / I will do it some other day / I want to do it, but... ) What "but"? no buts! GO FOR IT NOW if it doesnt hurt the others or if you are financially able to achieve that.

Let's start chasing our dreams. from now. ^_________^

- me

2009-06-15T22:13:00.003+08:00

My favourite line from kungfu panda

Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.

Oogway: Quit, don't quit? Noodles, don't noodles? You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present."

new moon

2009-06-15T15:47:00.004+08:00

i can't wait.

twilight

2009-06-15T13:14:00.005+08:00

Finally I watched it. It's pretty good. I would go for the book some other day.

Kristen Steward is amazing and simply beautiful. Robert Pattinson is great too. The plot is fascinating. Young adults would definitely enjoy this movie.

This is definitely something different to expect. I would be looking forward to watching the next twilight movie.

gof spoiler ahead

I noticed Robert Pattinson a long time ago right after he was cast as Cedric Diggory for Harry Potter even before he started acting . Cedric Diggory is my favourite character in Harry Potter so I was very concerned if they chose the right person... not that I can do anything about it.. (yup i m a potter fan. but not potter maniac). Too bad he wasn't given much appeareance in the harry potter movie compared to the book. His death in the hp movie is too perfunctory.. and they focused too much on the protagonist which kind of annoy me a little. Haha. My likenss towards Harry Potter movie actually decreased after watching the Goblet Of Fire. I expected too much from the movie as the book is absolutely amazing. To be honest, I am very very disappointed with that movie. With a plot like that, they could have done something better. They cut too many things. But if one did not read the book, they would find harry potter and the goblet of fire the best movie among the series. I believe.

Alive

2009-06-15T01:01:00.004+08:00

These quotes inspired me.

"What's over is over." - Derek Ooi.
"Make full use of what you have now and don't dwell on the past. " - My sister.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This is another video that inspired me.

99 Ballons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Being alive itself is a gift." - me.

should you be a doctor... or not?

2009-06-13T00:14:00.006+08:00

Here are some interesting web pages I visited.

This page is specially dedicated to students who are still hesitating whether to be a doctor or not. If you are already on that path, it's advisable for you to ignore this blog post.

Before you do that, do check out some interesting videos posted by :

http://www.youtube.com/user/usmedstudent
He is a student currently doing medicine in US. He will share his experiences and ideas about health and med school (btw, he is in harvard).

And here are some discouraging facts about those who dreams about becoming a doctor:

* * * * *

http://efenem.wordpress.com/2008/01/20/life-as-a-doctor-in-malaysia-part-1/

Life as a government doctor in Malaysia (part 1)

Criterias for becoming a Malaysian Govt Doctor. Theres no need for an aptitude test. Students should consider these requirements:

No life outside medicine; this includes dating, sports, clubbing, chores for your parents and visiting the toilet
Not to live with your parents. Move out ASAP as they will never understand the ludicrous working hours that u go through. Furthermore, chores are not suitable for u as to rule No. 1.
Not to be married until completion of all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service as u will be transferred left and right to some of the most remote Govt clinics in Malaysia. Having wife and kids to follow you to your new working area may increase high level of stress on all parties. Furthermore, if your spouse is a Govt Doctor, he/she will also be transferred away from u and no matter what appeal is made, KKM will put up a deaf ear (unless u have big cables)
If married, no to have children until u finish all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service, as to which u and your spouse will not have much time for your child/children or they end up not recognizing u and refer the Indonesian maid as their mother (change in language patterns commonly follow).
To obtain life insurance once your govt service begins as there is not many claims for accidents during work. Don’t be fooled, Doctoring in Malaysia is hazardous.
Able to withstand 36 hours of non stop work and stress without mistakenly labeling Left for Right or uvula for vulva (or Volvo S40)
To buy a car with complete safety features which includes multiple airbags, ABS, EBD, side-front-rear-top-parallel and diagonal impact bars and seat belts to ensure survivability if u are involved in an accident because your driving resembled a drunkard maniac after working in the hospital for 40 hrs non stop.
Constant supply of coffee
Nicotine Patch as u will have the urge to start smoking due to overwhelming stress
Interest in watching medical sitcoms such as House MD, Scrubs, ER, Grays Anatomy and Chicago Hope to inspire u to continue your life as a doctor as the exciting things u see on TV does not resemble the real life of a Malaysian govt doctor.
Not to have any pets or plants (not even cactuses) as u will have no time to feed or care for them and eventually all will end up in your mortuary.
Able to endure the stench of your own sweat as to when 36 hours “on call” does not permit u time to bathe or freshen up.
Able to carry on working without food or water over 15 hours. If during fasting month, able to break your fast with “water for injection” as u had no time to buy food.
Able to come to work with fever/cough/illness or physical disability (sprained ankle etc) as to which doctors do not deserve MCs. (My MO was on crutches during rounds)
Able to stand scolding, destructive criticism, kiss ass behaviors, racial bias, finger pointing, scape goating, and in competency from your superiors.
Able to withstand the jealousy when your friends call u up for some fun and ur stuck in the hospital during on call.

The list goes on. These requirements should be sent out to all doctor wannabes and for them to determine if their life coincides with the Malaysian Medical Health service of doctors under KKM.

[Credits to docfiles and standup]

* * * * * * * * * * *

Read these two if you are interested :
http://efenem.wordpress.com/2008/01/20/life-as-a-government-doctor-in-malaysia-part-2/
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/6/3/focus/4003932&sec=focus

* * * * * * * * * *

By the way, what they say about doctors right after houseman having a pay of RM6K a month is not really true. You have to work like a bull to achieve that pay.
Check out the link above for more information.

* * * * * * * * * *

Well, about the life as a doctor part, it's pretty scary. But I feel that other careers also require one to make the same amount of sacrifices.

I now salute to all good doctors out there who are striving to serve the nation.

Before you decide to be the (what pple think is) almighty-respectable-glamourous doctor, ask yourself : Are you up for the challenges? Cuz I believe the fame, money and the status you get are incomparable to the stress level of your job. Unless, you want to be a so-so doctor.

It takes more than 12 years to be a specialist. Once you acquire your knowledge, perhaps you are already close to retirement. Unless you keep studying for exams continuously after your med school, you might have a few decades to spend as a specialist.

A lot of people (well, just some actually) dream of becoming a doctor and going to Africa. Unfortunately, what they need is not just expertise, but a lot of money. They do not even have the fund to buy medication for small sickness. A lot of children died because of treatable diseases like malaria or fever, which can be cured with just one shot from a hospital in developed countries. Perhaps the best way to help is to earn a lot of money and donate to them.
And talking about helping people. one can be a social worker in any other careers.

I am not trying to scare people out of their med school by having this post. This is just another reference for me and for everyone else.

I really do hope that I can make the correct decision for myself when the time arrives.

awh... i missed durians.... i can eat two to three durians (and I mean the whole fruit) a day. XD

give me a break from holidays

2009-06-07T23:10:00.004+08:00

I can't believe I am actually tired of holidays.
I feel torturous not doing anything and not wanting to do anything at home.
I just don't feel the drive to do certain things. It's like... waiting for time to past.

I would rather have short frequent holidays for me to recharge from hectic lifestyles. I feel like an over-charged battery now. A lot of people feel that holidays would never be enough. But still, it depends on what you do in your holidays. esp If you are stuck at home with nothing to do whole day.Vacations I suppose, would never be enough.

I really prefer colourful and meaningful life, in which I can multitask all day, do lots of things, and feel a sense of achievement right before I sleep at night. Well. Not many career enables that. what i am having now, definitely isn't what I want.

I feel like I am living a life after retirement. I am so sick and tired of watching the taiwanese, japanese or korean dramas. Mangas are great but they cost money. One manga loads their page very slowly and I hate waiting. Jigsaw puzzle is the best time killer thing to do.

I hope I can fast forward my life until two weeks before I enter university, and pause the time two weeks before all my major exams. Wouldn't it be nice if I have a remote control like click?

ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can sleep more than 12 hrs a day and still feel bored.

Yup. I am immature. Statement justified.

lalalalalala.... lalalalala..... lalalala.....lala...............

neptune eng:
mayb i shud juz find some naruto anime to watch. i haven watch it for one whole yr. hahaha. and i transfered my naruto group in frenster (with 30k members) to some passionate member who had been spammin my inbox asking me to manage the group properly. well, if he can do a better job, i shall let him have it. i started tat group since 2005. kinda miss deleting people's discussion as a mod. but now i m juz a member. ><. anyway. if u r curious, juz drop by in friendster, search for naruto group. one of the most popular ones belonged to me last time. well. who cares bout da past. hell ya.

8th guitar lessons

2009-06-06T02:33:00.007+08:00

It's been less than one month and I had attended 8 guitar lessons. The lessons are great and pleasurable. I have learn a lot, compared to the other course that I have attended this holiday . Well, to date I haven't inform anyone about my terrible learning experiences at the so called Beauty Salon, not forgetting the extravagant price I have to pay for both the lesson and the products. I can't even find the the brands of the products I was forced to buy on google. The moral of the story? Just take make-up lessons from youtube.com. Even though the steps might not be correct, at least the purpose is achieved. All in all, maybe cosmetics is just not my thing.

I feel that I am not as feminine as I thought I could be. I tried dancing before and now I swear that I would never dance on stage again. Now this. Haiz. At least I got the experience.

* * * *

Anyway, I can finally start learning to read and play notes from guitar, instead of the regular strumming. Knowing theory of music is an advantage as it saved me lots of time, and in this case, time is money. For me, playing piano is more like reading from a story book, while playing guitar is like memorising stories. I can only play a few pieces on piano without the scores. But for guitar, once you know the chords for C major, you can pretty much play everything for pop guitar.

For those who are planning to learn a new musical instrument but haven't got lots of time (as in more than 2 hrs a day) to practice, guitar is actually a perfect choice. But it's advisable to practice at least once or twice a day.

The chord progression for guitar and piano is actually the same. I particular love the chord progression C-G-Am-Em-F-Em-Dm-G-C. It's almost applicable to all songs either on piano or guitar (including Canon In D... and a lot of chinese pop songs). For D major, follow the same progression, i.e : I-V-vi-iii-IV-iii-ii-V-I

ah. Life's short. I am glad to have the opportunities to try out different spices of life (am I using the correct term?).

My english is getting worse. But as long as I can express myself in basic english, I shouldn't be too worried. It's not like I am going to enter some english essay writing competition. haha.

tagged

2009-06-02T18:49:00.002+08:00

Gee. I am really bored. or else i wouldnt do all these tags. haha.

Upload your favorite picture and answer the questions below:

Why do you choose this photo?
This is my first time cooking dinner (by myself) for the family

When was the last time you ate pizza?
Two days ago

The last song you've listened to?
naruto shippuuden opening 5

What are you doing besides answering this tag?
watching the news

Besides your own name, how do you like people to call you?
please just call my name. the name "小皮 (xiao pi)" is reserved only for certain friends though.

Tag six people. The following questions are related to them.
Hmm. It's ok if u dun answer my tag. I don't really mind.
1. Queenie
2. Liza
3. Sin Yee
4. Chun Ming
5. Xin Zhao
6. He Qing

Who is No. 1?
A great friend who is going to be a great doctor.

No. 3 is having a relationship with?
I do hope that she would tell me.

Say something about No.5.
A genius.

How about No.4?
Nice Friend. Please update ur blog more frequently.

Who is No.2?
A very gorgeous and elegant lady. Very sociable and friendly and intelligent.

Say something to No.6!
Kampateh for your studies!

不要读

2009-06-01T03:46:00.003+08:00

给自己的话：

人生的一切都只是过眼云烟；生不带来，死不带去。

把名和利看得太重，最后吃亏的只有自己。

与其去追求不属于自己的东西，不如用现有的时间去做有利于自己与他人的事。

把自己放在大家的后面，那你才能看到每一个人的背影有什么。

谦虚。但不要假谦虚。笑，但不要苦笑。帮助别人，但不要奢求回报。

很庆幸的，我的家人还在我身旁。

* * * * *

我希望所有我爱的人身体健康，长命百岁。这个愿望比考好成绩还重要。

我是一膄飘浮不定的小船。我的父母就好像是船夫，把我划到最安全的地方，保护我，不让我受伤害。不管我又多破旧，他们也永远不会放弃我。

如果可以有一个愿望，我希望我可以做长子。

那我的父母就不会对我有所期望，也就不会失望。
那我就不用因为看到他们的一天比一天的苍老而心酸。
那我就不会因为自己是最小的而任性。
那我就可以在父母退休前工作，不用增加他们的负担。
那父母就不会比较我与兄姐们的性格。
那我就不会比较父母对我与对兄姐们的管教方式。

* * * * * * * *

本来我并不想把那么私人的文章放在这里。。但又好想放。最后还是放了。

tagged

2009-06-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

1. Beside your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
eww.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
great

3. Who was the last person/people you took a picture with?
su jia i guess

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
sort of.

5. Will you donate blood?
donated twice in a yr.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
i guess so.

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
why wud i do that? the bad guys probably.

8. What does your last text message say?
someone wished me good luck.

9. What are you thinking right now?
a lot of things

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
i like being alone.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
very late. around 3.

12. Where did you buy tee you are wearing right now?
the store.

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
no.

14. Who was the last person who text you?
wei xing.

i guess i m juz too bored. haha.

A picture is worth a thousand words

2009-05-29T00:24:00.015+08:00

A picture is worth a thousand words.
Hence, I shall give you 26000 words.

Well. It would be better if someone would give me 26000 $ though.

People

It's going to hard for me to see them after this year.
The left one flies to US, the right one flies to AUS.

Happy hour at UNCLE SAM. It's within 3 min walking distance from my house.

FOOD

My House (18/05/09)
Key ingredient for bak zhang

Uncle Sam (26/05/09)

Secret Recipe (24/05/09)
Mine is the first from right, the tiramisu cake. I don't enjoy it at all. Sorry.
Should have chosen what I have always chosen - the health cakes.

Elephant Bean (Owned by kopi 434 ) (23/05/09)

My supper (21/05/09)
~ 3 gardenia bread + two layers of nestle neapolitan ice cream

My tea break~ Dadih (17/05/09)
It was put on the ping pong table in my living room. Cool huh.

Air Kelapa at Bus Stand Muar (16/05/09)

Dunkin' Donuts (16/05/09)

I ate croissant at a donut shop.

KB mall food court (07/05/09)

Nasi Pattaya. from kelantan. (07/05/09)
Currently in some "long kang" in kelantan after being excreted (by someone else)

Some pasar at Kelantan (07/05/09)
What a magnificient view.

Some Pasar at Kelantan (07/05/09)
These are all salted and dry.

The food around me works wonder for me.
They helped me to gain 5 kgs of unnecessary mass in 5 months.

Is it possible to reverse the process?

Places and Things

JPJ Muar (21/05/09)
I lost my purse and my driving license.
So I made a new one (for free).

Muar ~ view from bus stand (16/05/09)

Muar Bentayan Bus Stand (16/05/09)

USM Kelantan (07/05/09)

KB Mall, Kelantan (08/05/09)

Hot Summer, KB Mall (08/05/09)

Inside of KB Mall, Kelantan (08/05/09)

Some pasar at Kelantan (07/05/09)

KMNS (15/05/09)
The reason I went all the way back to my college

Guitar (27/05/09)

APITT (UCTI), somewhere near Technology Park Malaysia (28/5/09)

I was looking for UCSI. Instead, fate brought us here.
So we went in and took a quick tour.
It's most famous of IT courses which I am also partially interested.

The university has very small corridors. I don't really like it. It's very congested and you might bump into people from time to time.

However. If I were to study IT courses, APITT would be my first choice.

The ratio of boys to girls is almost 80:20.

After driving (not me) for more than 4 hours, we finally found UCSI.
Comparatively, I prefer the study environment of UCSI than APITT.

OldTown, Cheras. (28/5/09)

This is where we eat (expensive) lunch and ask for directions.

Due to my wide interest, I had visited a lot of other universities.
But I feel that I will still end up in other places I have not visited in the end.

lost

2009-05-23T23:15:00.003+08:00

I am so lost.
Let me just enjoy the remaining time I have before the time to make huge decision comes.

Had supper at the newly opened coffee shop in wetex parade.
my friends are still the same nice people.
Had fun.

Tomorrow I will have more fun at the cinema with them too.

* * *

The price of petrol had gone down so much. Why are the food prices still sky high?
Will the prices of goods ever go down?

Sometimes i really wonder.

* * *

lalalalalalala........

* * *

Callouses are starting to form on three of my fingers. They prevent sorenss and enable me to press the strings of guitar firmer. But I don't really like them. Should I just put plasters on my fingers?

* * *

AH~~~~ My life is a mess......

second guitar lesson

2009-05-13T22:30:00.003+08:00

It's ok if u do not read my blog. i just write it for myself to record stuffs.

It was only half an hour and I learnt a few new chords and different techniques to play the guitar.

The chords I know now are :
C, G7, Am, F, Dm, Em

I know I can simply look at the books and online to learn new chords. But I want to be guided to make sure that I am learning the right thing.

My teacher is awesome.

My fingers on left hand are starting to ache. ouch.

I had a brand new acne on my nose. But it doesn't affect my life whatsoever (Keep staring, strangers!). Well. I am pretty used to them and they are part my life. They are a twist of excitement I need for my dull life. Yes! (I really don't care. Even if I blog about it).

I started pokemon fire red yesterday. Kinda fun. But i think i will finish crsytal first. Turn out that I almost finish the game last time when I gave up half way when I was ten. I already fought the first of the elite four (I only have 4 more person to fight before I finish the game). Ouch.

TOMORROW GOING TO KMNS.. PILAH... HERE I COME!

Pilah hebat... Suddenly have a sense of belonging there. How weird.. KAKOM (sport event for matriks) really changed me a lot.. all of us there fight as if we are from negeri sembilan. haha.

Here are some of the photos I took last time:

My keyboard (It's actually the school's. But I used it all the time for performance. My tcher said it cost RM5K. I would rather buy a piano with that.)

Hameer(he is wearing kain pelekat) and Taleeb.
What I am trying to show is the drum set on the left.
KMNS is the only matrik with so many amazing instruments and a school band.

Well. Since they appear...

Hameer is the main singer of malaysian indie band "Ask Me Again".
Do check out their newest EP by searching on facebook.

Taleeb is a great singer from muar. He is the cutest malay guy in kmns (according to my survey)

These are just part of my amazing matrik life.
So if anyone were to enter matrik, make sure they join all these things...
it's no use to just study study and study... (bo-ring..... sien....)
but still, time management is very important.

><

2009-05-12T15:37:00.004+08:00

Car accident is a very horrifying thing.

May everyone stay healthy and happy.

* * *

Today I went for my very first guitar lesson. Learn chord C and G7.

It was very interesting. I am glad I went.

I have another lesson at tomorrow night.

* * *

tomorrow might go swimming in the morning. i m pretty lazy. but this could be the last chance i get to swim for another 5 to 6 years.

* * *

I am going back to my matrik to help for the band performance. Even though I play a small role, I guess I am still needed. One is to improve the quality of melody and complete the background music. The other reason is to show racial intergration (i guess)..

Well. That could also be the last time I go back to matrik. And I get to help my favourite teacher. So, why not?

* * *

The bus fare dropped from RM25 to RM13 (muar to seremban). How shocking. I thought I bought the wrong ticket.

* * *

I have been very hardworking in writing my blog. Just that they are all summarised.

^___^

good luck to everyone.

Kelantan

2009-05-10T16:29:00.002+08:00

Was in Kelantan for 2 days and 1 night. Had Fun. But I didn't go to the beaches.

The food there is quite nice.

It's quite a nice place. But the weather is extremely warm.

I met new friends too.

Another boring post. Don't read. Pokemon Crystal

2009-05-04T18:38:00.003+08:00

Argh. I am so stuck.
I started playing pokemon crsytal a few days ago and I am stucked.
I just couldnt beat the gym leader Morty. He's got all the ghost pokemon and I don't have any ghost or dark pokemon.

My journey (in the pokemon world) was pretty smooth until just now. I was able to beat all gym leaders with a few moves using the same pokemon. But this one, I am really really really defeated.

I've got one bellsprout (grass), machop(fighting), geodude(rock), sudowoodo(rock/fighting), spearow (flying), an evolved cyndaquil (fire). All of them are above L20. AND I CAN'T BEAT THAT GUY! ARGH.

I now have 3 options.

a) just skip this gym and fight the next one first.

b) I have an ekan at level 7. Keep raising it till Level 20. This will take a lot of time.

c) just show up at night and catch a ghost or dark pokemon at level 10 and above. Train it till it become level 20 something.

HAIZ.

well. i know i should be doing other better things like learning a new skill, working part time at some shops, improving my english, increasing my IQ etc. sorry.

I have planned to try and finish pokemon red, yellow, blue......... and all the rest of it by the end of this holiday. XD YEAH BABY...

Well, if i play pokemon crystal, which is the improvised version of pokemon gold and silver, then i wouldn't play pokemon gold and silver anymore. So there isn't really that much to play.

weird goal, huh.

by the way. i have already finished burger shop, sally's salon, magic vines, cake mania, diner dash..... and all those arcade or whatever games that require lots of mouse clicking to win. They are all the same and require the same technique to win. Sorry to tell, I m bored of that. Cooking academy is quite nice but kinda boring too.

what a gamer i am.

but i still don't play cs. it's too complex for my simple mind. warcraft is ok though.

another must watch movie

2009-05-02T05:01:00.005+08:00

Korean Movie - "My Father"

This movie really touched my heart.

Just watch it. You won't regret.

From wikipedia:

The movie, which is based on a true story, is about an adopted son who is searching for his biological parents in South Korea. During his search he meets his real father, a condemned murderer on plays the lead role of James, who works as a volunteer in the United States armed forces in Korea. He asks questions of why his father is on death row and finds out things that he always wanted to know. Then he finds more and more truths unravel about his father and his life.

The release of the movie inspired controversy because the family of the father's victims did not support its production. In its first week on release it topped the South Korean box office sales charts.

结束了。

2009-04-29T02:33:00.002+08:00

短短的十个月就这样结束了。
在家里还蛮闷的。
以前只要一闷，可以跟室友们谈天，多走几步就可以到盈仔+宜仔+Mickey仔的房间聊天，偶尔可以去不同的楼找不同的人玩（一楼的欣宜婉真，二楼的颖欣。。），可以去不同的block。。。一切都近在咫尺。

突然间，一切都结束了。

还记得在那里的最后几天大家都在考试。考完最后一天才发现，能相聚的时间不多了。最后一天真的让我哭得缺水。

我问欣盈，我会不会习惯没有你们的生活。她说：“一定会啦。回家三个月哩，不习惯也会习惯。”
好现实的答案。

但现在我可以肯定地说，我还没有习惯家里的生活。

在家里闷得快发荒的我，每天似乎是在等时间过。

好希望大学可以遇到他们哦。呵呵。

快乐的时光总是过的特别快。

我很庆幸自己能拥有与他们相处的机会。这种机会，你就是用一百亿+出国留学+跟周杰伦和出唱片的机会跟我交换，我也不要。

生活并不止是追逐着名和利，成绩与美貌。
生活在于享受活着的每一秒。
有意义的活着。
没有遗憾的活着。
感恩与快乐的活着。

加油。努力的生活吧。

life is good

2009-01-27T06:21:00.006+08:00

Yup. My life is good.

Watched two great movies recently. I would highly recommend it to everyone.

The first one is Slumdog Millionaire. It is really an amazing movie with amazing story line. I am glad I watched it. Everyone must watch this if they have a chance.

A Mumbai teen who grew up in the slums, becomes a contestant on the Indian version of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" He is arrested under suspicion of cheating, and while being interrogated, events from his life history are shown which explain why he knows the answers.

It's also nominated for 10 Oscars. Another 40 wins & 37 nominations.

I would give it 95%.

* * * * * * *

The second one is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It's great too.

It tells the story of Benjamin Button, a man who starts aging backwards with bizarre consequences.
It's nominated for 13 Oscars. Another 6 wins & 47 nominations.

I would give 85% for this movie.

WAH. I really do enjoy holidays.

Although it's CNY these days, I really prefer to relax at home than to go visit other places as I don't really get the chance to enjoy the 'facilities' in my house. Well, it's fun to visit friends and relatives too and feel the ambience of new year. Haha.

i love holidays. ^____________________________^

happy cny! 新年快乐！

2009-01-23T23:22:00.002+08:00

I suddenly love listening to classical music a lot.
I really like chopin's etude. Both opus 10 and opus 25. A total of 24 pieces.
Someday, I will learn all of them. It could take me ten or twenty years. But sooner or later, I will. hehe.

Happy chinese new year.

2009-01-14T16:36:00.002+08:00

I am now at my school's library.
Many things happened these days.
Suddenly, I am no longer underage. I am no longer a minor. I am no longer young.
Time flies too fast. Faster than the rate I grow up.
This is bad. Really bad.

Will I be laughed at for liking Pokemon at the age of 20?
Can I still be crazy over Taiwanese and Japanese dramas like the primary school students?

This year I will be 19 and next year I will be 20.
I feel old.

Imagine.
In five years’ time, if I do not get a boyfriend, my mom would start worrying.
In five years’ time, if I do not graduate with a bachelor degree and have a stable job, my parents would start worrying.
In ten years’ time, if I do not get married, even if I am already attached to someone, my family would be worried.
In ten years’ time, if I do not get a promotion or increase in pay, my friends might be worried (I might be borrowing money from them, you see.)

In a few years’ time, I will be entering the horrifying boring torturous adult world!!!! AH! NO~~~~~~

Let me just enjoy while I can lah. Who cares.

so stress la. my team mates for english assignment didn't understand my instructions. I have to redo all the things.
Now I simply don't believe anyone other than myself. Perhaps I am not a good leader after all.

(I can still remember the lyrics of the first four pokemon themes, opening and ending. muahaha)
–

周杰伦的歌！！

2008-12-25T01:26:00.004+08:00

这是伟康在圣诞节写的。。。有版权的哦。。。
http://nicholas-hong.blogspot.com/2008/12/blog-post_24.html

爱在西元前
晴天，阳光宅男和可爱女人偶然相遇，在充满稻香的校园。随着缘份的轨迹，两人就读三年二班。宅男被她的睫毛深深吸引，也感觉大家属于同一种调，心中刮起龙卷风，但无奈始终开不了口。不想后悔于发如雪，宅男决定不再找借口，不再懦夫。他利用浪漫手机大耍黑色幽默，把自己乔装成魔术先生在圆游会上乱舞春秋，也恋上她爱吃的麦芽糖。奈何可爱女人始终拒他于千里之外。宅男绝不退后，成为牛仔很忙，高呼：“给我一首歌的时间 ”，用一首夜曲打动其芳心。反方向的钟，也有顺方向的时侯。就这样，开始简单爱。
相约在珊瑚海边的沙滩上，宅男与她一起听海，一起看星晴，感觉甜甜的。开始分享不能说的秘密，还相约去戏院，殊不知‘世界末日’竟然是他们最后也是最长的电影。许多蒲公英的约定还未实现，彩虹竟已消失，蓝色风暴竟已来袭。爱，也都搁浅。曾约定要一起到有七里香的地方度假，到她家喝她爷爷泡的茶，再次听海看星晴。。。度过每一天每一日，不能后悔。
暗号很明显，宅男却想假装看不见。心雨不停在下，宅男选择安静离开，一路向北飘移来到爱情悬涯，传来一曲东风破，眼前只见无数龙战骑士葬身其中。多想有台时光机，让爱倒带，回到过去。但爱，就像断了的弦，再怎么练，也找不回之前的感觉。宅男回头一望，发觉你比从前快乐，终究选择放手。
最后，宅男决定把所有的回忆藏入半岛铁盒，成为流浪诗人。
只是，说好的幸福呢？

*************************

是不是很有创意？哈哈哈哈。。。

Which path should I take?

2008-12-20T23:43:00.006+08:00

Yeap. I am still confused about what to study after my matrik. At this point of my life, I somehow wish that I was given something to study instead of having the ability to choose. Humans are weird animals. Indeed.

My parents strongly suggested medicine. But do I really have the ability to cope with studying and enjoying at happy life at the same time? My sister's comments on medicine caused my hesitation. The sacrifices you have to make is beyond imaginaton. It's not just about memorising human anatomy, but one must possess high EQ to succeed the job. It's not just about earning money. Lives are at stakes.

All I want is a meaningful life which I believe being a doctor can provide. I want to be someone who can save and help others. But somehow, I fear.

According to the newspaper, we will have 8K more doctors than required in year 2015. This is not suprising, as 70% of all my friends want medicine so badly. But does the number include medicine student who will work oversea or matrik&stpm student who will be choosing medicine?

Engineering. It's a great course for males. But for females, I doubt. Do I really have the ability to lead the people under me who are mostly males?

Am I thinking too much?

Afterall, the course I choose will affect my career, which is something I will be having until I retire.

Haiya... no point thinking so much... If the government's computer system insist on giving me "Perikanan" at UM, I will also go for it. Who knows I will be the most successful fish researcher on earth?

Leave it all to fate... I guess...

* * * * *

Fate brought me to matrik..... and I am fortunate to be in matrik as I got to do lots of thing I never tried before...
Band (being a keyboardist is more fun than I thought), Poetry Recital (we acted during the recitation.. had lots of fun) , Kakom (met lots of great pple..), got the chance to sing songs on stage (not as a choir member), got the chance to dance on stage, got the chance to meet more people in depth.... all within a year...
So what if our qualifications is being looked down by others? The experiences I got is way beyond what books and certificates can provide..

Life is not just about studying and securing a good job... it's about enjoying the time and moments you have..
Live a life with no regrets.. Play while you can, Eat while you can, but at the same time, improve yourself while you can...

haha. this is just another boring post. sorry.

that's all.

AH!! MUET!!

2008-11-06T22:37:00.003+08:00

AH~~~~~~~~~~

Did they purposely plan our muet exam a week after our finals so that we would over relax during the holiday????????????????????

No wonder they say it's so hard to score band 6! So that's the reason.

Anyway, I am not aiming for that. If only miracles can happen, I would reverse the time to a day after my final exam. I will make sure to familiarise myself with all the exam components.
Haiz. If and only if.

Going back tomorrow. Perhaps the study mood will come on the last day before my muet test. Hopefully I wont freak out.

I have been relying on miracles too much.
Hope I wont use up all my good lucks. Still have to reserve some for sem 2 and university. Haha.

^__^

2008-11-05T21:38:00.003+08:00

For those who decide to accept this award, I would appreciate it if you could do the following:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.

3. Nominate 10 other blogs.

4. Add links to those blogs on yours.

5. Leave a message for your nominees on your blogs.

I've been nominated by: Nicole Pang

All of the blogs on my link list are great blogs that I often visit. Check them out. ^_^

Here are some brief description about what they are studying (or will be studying) :

[list in random order]

Nicole Pang - A levels, interested in Actuarial Science
Su Jia - Studying Actuarial Science
Khai Jie - Studying Architecture! A very cool course in my opinion.
Chan - Engineering
Caryn- Studying at KMPP. Budak Hayat. Might want to be doctor.
Ken / Queenie - Medicine
Charlotte -Medicine
Estella - Medicine
Jun Ming - A levels, interested in medicine field
Larry - Medicine
Nadira - Medicine
Husna - Medicine
Kuchai - Medicine
Callin - Medicine
Zi Ling - Dentistry
Dyana - Law
Wei Zhen - Law
Eugene - Law
Voon Hui - Engineering (Can be classified as engineering too right?)
Sheela - A levels (ops. She never told me what she is studying. Gotta ask her..)
Adi - Foundation in Sains Hayat, UM
Ikmal - A levels UEM
Wai Hong - The next stpm scholar
Aaron - The next stpm scholar
De Winn - Engineering
Norman Goh - Honestly, this guy is a total stranger for me. But his blog are quite informative sometimes.
Xin Zhao - currently studying at NUS, got great results for his STPM. But honestly, I don't really know this person. haha.
Abang Khairul & Abang Hafidz - Their blogs feature lots of great stuffs! Enjoy their blog a lot.
Kun Ming - Foundation in Music. Cool huh.
Aly - SPM this year. All the best.
Bro - My brother. The man with the greatest personality in the whole universe.

Wow. Can't believe it. So many of my friends are going to be Doctors! Medicine is going to be a very competitive field ten years later.

Hm. Will we have more doctors than patients then? I once asked my mom this question. Her answer is no. I seriously wonder.

Somehow, I am glad that I still have the chance to choose what course I would take. I can still think until the end of december.

I thought of becoming a doctor too. But I am still hesitating due many other factors. I believe I have more exposure to this field than other people as my mom is a nurse. Do I not want to be a doctor because I am afraid to have a hectic lifestyle? But aren't all successful people living hectic lifestyle?

I asked my sister about it. She told me that if I am hesitant on becoming a doctor, don't ever enter this field as I will regret. It takes a lot of determination to be a good doctor. She encouraged me to be a pharmacist though.

The only life that suits my needs is a teacher's life. Meaningful, active, and simple (compared to the other careers). Whatever course I choose, I might still be a lecturer in the end. Haha.

By the way, it's slightly harder for a budak fizik (that's me) who x take biology to enter the biology field in university... I think I am only accepted at USM oe IMU ($$$$$$) if I were to change stream.

I think I will only decide after studying physics in sem 2.. then I will know whether I like engineering or biology..

Tagged by Su Jia

2008-11-01T20:53:00.002+08:00

Holidays are great. Finally I can bathe using the water heater.

Tagged by su jia:

1. Whats your ambition?
Any career that enables me to lead a meaningful, active, stable and simple life.

2. How often do you think of commiting suicide?
When I feel down, useless and stupid. But most of the time I can get over such emotions in less than one hour. haha.

3. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Externally no. But in terms of doing things which I am good at (like eating) , I do have confidence.

4. How many babies you want?
As many as I can afford to raise... Hahaha... now it's still too early for that question...

5. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
Yes. It will still form somewhere where we can't see...

6. What is your goal for this year?
To have a happier life.

7. Do you believe in eternity love?
I believe its existence. But it's only applicable on girls whose boyfriend would never get tired of them. Hard to find such people like that though.

8. What do you say about your life now?
Quite ok. Satisfied. Enjoyable. Got everything needed.

9. What feeling do you love most?
Sleeping when I am really tired, eating when I am really hungry, and getting good results for exams that I worked really hard.

10. What are the requirements you wish from the other half?
As long as he is not the "visualisation" type.

11. Is there anything u wanna tell the ppl u hate?
Sorry for noticing the bad sides of you which I can't accept.

12. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yup. It's hard for me to remember my friends' name, but once I remember, I would never forget.

13. What does flying means to you?
I prefer to have invisibiliy than flying ability.

14. What do you crave for the most currently?
Haven watch naruto for like so many months. I will watch all of them in one row before I enter U. I want to watch all the korean and taiwanese dramas and movies too.

15. Where would ur ultimate vacation spot be?
Home sweet home. My bed.

16. Describe the person who tagged u in 7 word.
Nice, Interesting, Caring, Intelligent, Easy-Going, Friendly, Fun-loving.

17. What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
Eat, play tennis, sleep.

18. What will you become in another 10 years to come?
Old.

19. What is your lucky number?
Don't have any. But I like number 5 a lot. I dunno why.

20. What is your favourite food?
All nice food in general. Roti canai, mee bandung, and all the food we get from wedding dinner.

:)

Tagged by Esthrone

2008-10-05T01:37:00.002+08:00

Dear nicole,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa with Paris Hilton and I saw you sit on my fart balloon. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about Eggplant-fetishism.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,

Kaixin

*************
How you do the Letter Meme:
Dear (the last person who left a comment on your Journal).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it when ___2______3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - ManO.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

I tagged:
Khai Jie
Caryn
Su Jia
Charlotte
Estella
Kai Chi

Music - An appreciation

2008-09-15T14:21:00.003+08:00

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the message my teacher sent to me.

"Congratulations. You passed your exam with 118."

WHAT?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??

I called my teacher to confirm, jumped on my bed and screamed. YES!!!!

although it is only a pass, but I am extremely . I thought I will fail the exam. A pass was a surprise as I have very little practice. (I only practice a few days consecutively before the exam, didn't even touch piano for the entire month before that..)

However, I firmly believe that grade 8 is not the end. I must not stop here.

I promise myself to find a piano teacher when I enter university. I must complete my theory and continue my practical.

Many people asked me what is the purpose I learnt piano. I believe the same applies to almost everyone who plays piano. What is the purpose of taking those expensive exams?? What is the use?
Initially, I learnt piano because all my siblings did.
I thought of quitting more than 10 times. But after hearing how regretful my sister is for not continueing her piano lessons when she had the chance, I decided to continue.

Learning piano is not just about showing off. It's not about wealth or intelligence. It's not about proving to others that "yeah I can play piano and you cant".

It's about loving music. Finding beauty in everything we hear. Appreciating what was left behind ages and ages ago.

It's also about appreciating what we have in life.

It's amazing how those little notes and key combine and produce wonderful melodies. Each of them may look small and unimportant, but in reality, all are significant. Even the wrong placement of fingers on notes could be deadly.

ok la. that's all.

matriks life is still great for me. :)

by the way, "music- an appreciation" is the title of a book I received for my meriting my g6 theory in year 2006. Still haven read it. Will do so after Matriks. hahahahaha.

Sleeping beauty

2008-08-22T16:04:00.002+08:00

After hibernating for more than 3 months, my ipod is finally awake!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I attached it to the pc with an usb cable. Suddenly, a bitten apple appeared...

and my ipod is ready to use! miracles....

i bought a USB charger for RM15.. couldn't find an ipod charger at muar.. haha.

uploaded lots of songs. hahahaha.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

so happy.

now i think i need a better earphone. The apple earphone provided is starting to fall apart.

so

i can still survive even if my handphone is outdated without mp3 and camera
as i can always buy a camera and an mp3 player.. and it's still cheaper than that one handphone!

if I have 3 separated items (hp, mp3, camera) instead of 1 (newest hp)
the chances of them being spoilt (overuse, drop on the floor, lost, stolen) is also less..

hmm... it's like comparing an all rounded person with 3 people specialising in 3 areas..
haha..

:D

going back to matrik soon.

argh. my english is getting worse but my chinese and malay is improving with acceleration!

muet coming soon.. hopefully miracles can happen again.

Sunburn

2008-08-18T00:39:00.003+08:00

"Kamu cina ke?"

Ok. I have heard people saying I am darker than before. But the above question (from a kulim matrik girl) really made me realise how dark I am.

Can't you see my "sepeted" mata?

Lemons, Nivea Whitening Milk Lotion, Olay UV whitening........

argh. maybe I should appreciate my tanned skin. Many Caucasians wanted my skin colour but ended up having skin cancer.

Ya la. Atlet ma. Tanned = macho.

tonnes of homework undone. Must start tomorrow.

went out yesterday with old friends. Had a great time. These are great people I know I can't find elsewhere. Appreciate the times we had together. felt relaxed and happy to see them again. hope to see you guys soon....

KAKOM 2008 / 2009

2008-08-14T21:01:00.002+08:00

It was a great event!

Felt so fortunate to be part of it.

Kakom = Karnival Kokurikulum Matrikulasi
This year it is held at our matrikulasi.
Although I lost quite terribly in the tournament, I felt satisfied enough as I still get to cheer for my other friends.

And I got closer to people whom I don't normally say hi to.

and met old friends (jasper, simran, farah).

i fell down quite a lot of times on the day i lost my game (fell into longkang, from staircase, tripped while running etc.), but only two of them is serious enough to cause injuries. Why is that? because i have to rush from places to places to cheer for my "kawan yang masih berjuang" (tennis > basketball > squash > badminton > volley)... hahaha...

The band performance turned out great too! thorougly enjoy the moments on stage... (although i am just an insignificant keyboard player... )

too bad i don't have camera................... T___T

Now I can proudly say that my matriks life is cool and amazing! (one year is simply too short...)

yeah.....

aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2008-08-01T02:04:00.004+08:00

做任何事情
要想清楚
是不是自己真正想做的事
如果不做的话
会不会成为以后的遗憾？

很多事情的重点并不在于结果
而在于过程
要是有真正努力与享受整个事情的过程
结果根本不算什么

就好像数理考试一样
占据最多分的并不是最后的答案
而在于算术过程。。。。

Going back to matriks tomorrow.... took four days' leave from school since monday (with permission.. not ponteng class ah..)

Finished my piano exam today. Hopefully that will be the last graded exam I will ever have to take.

My next challenge now is tennis for kakom. I really want to win. Hopefully I will succeed.

Tough day tomorrow. Tonnes of homework unfinished. I didnt bring any homework home (ya. i know I am stupid to forget that.) Wonder if the teacher would check our homeworks.

I can still remember what she said to me during tutorial lessons last last week:

"GAN? Kenapa tak buat tutor ?"
"................"

p/s: please call me "kai xin". "Gan" is only for those who cant remember my name. If I consider you as someone I know pretty well, I would prefer you to call me kai xin.... thanks... :)

><

2008-06-28T12:03:00.003+08:00

I didn't come home for two weeks. I do not have time to blog at school too. Felt insecure to sign in to blogger using the school computer.... ><

I must say that I enjoyed my life thoroughly in matriculation.
I wake up at 7am, go to class from 8 to 2 or 5 pm, play tennis with my friends, do some homework, wash some clothes, and sleep.
Some may call this a routine life. But it's never tedious if you enjoy this routine everyday..

Just like most other matriculation student, my english is getting worse. I am trying my best to slow down the "damping" effect...

One of the other linguistic problem that I am facing is cantonese. Turns out that every chinese here speak this language besides us who are from the southern part. I feel like a non-chinese when I don't understand what the Chinese are speaking. This phrase is extremely handy for me : Ngo Em Sek Teng Lei Gong Mat Yeh ( I don't know what you are talking about - in cantonese)

I am not learning theory grade 8 due to time constraint T_T. Coming back every weekend proves to be torturous for me too. I don't like the traveling process. Besides, there are so many things for me to do in college. I can stay in library, I can play tennis, squash, do other sports or just jog around my big and green college. I can even watch movie in the lecturing theater at saturday night. Life is too good to be true.

However, I feel that I am over-enjoying my life. Hopefully I can score well in the coming exams. Haiz.

I sang during the mini school performance and couldn't reach the high notes. After days of preparation I failed to perform perfectly. Fortunately my partners did not blame me. I am glad to have friends who encourage me in doing the stuffs I like.. :)

SEE LAH! MY ENGLISH IS GETTING WORSE!! OMG.

what to do? read the star?? no time lah. washing clothes takes up an hour of my time daily.

didn't watch naruto anime for like one month d. Wonder what happened to sasuke. No spoilers from manga please. I prefer to stick to the anime. arigato gozaimasu.

i need suggestions

2008-06-08T12:43:00.003+08:00

Hello!

Should I continue learning theory?
It's the last grade d! I wan to finish it....

But then I will have to come back every single week for the lesson which is pretty leceh. Have to join PBSM = Persatuan Balik Setiap Minggu.

My teacher asked me to think about it carefully.
The theory the exam is on next year march. My mom fear that I might be distracted from studies. Besides, my house is actually pretty far from my college matriculation.

If I don't continue learning, I don't think I will ever get the chance to learn it. After my matriculation I will proceed to university, and after that I will enter the career world. Quite impossible to still have time to go for lessons.

how?

haiz. shouldn't have stopped learning one year for UPSR. .

TELL ME HOW!!! argh.

i m terrible at deciding things for myself.

where should i go?

2008-06-07T15:23:00.003+08:00

Jung test results:

The one I usually get

Possible Career Paths for the ESTP:

Lawyers

Psychologists

Entrepreneurs

Photographers

Consultants

Engineers

Scientists

Actors

Sales Representatives

Marketing Personnel

Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist

The one from voon hui's blog

Possible Career Paths for the ESFP:

Artists, Performers and Actors

Sales Representatives

Counselors / Social Work

Child Care

Fashion Designers

Interior Decorators

Consultants

Photographers

Sales representative appear on both sides. Should I do that? hehe.

Anyway. My sis told me tat these career tests are not to be taken seriously. hehe. so juz for fun lah.

UPDATES!

2008-06-07T02:52:00.004+08:00

Latest updates about my sickness!

WOW! my cough just upgraded to asthma!! I went to the Kinik Baiduri outside my school on wednesday morning, skipped my maths tutorial class to get a new inhaler for FREE*. Have to puff every four hours.

I am pretty normal and healthy at room temperature. But when the surrounding temperature drops (due to weather conditions or more commonly, the air-cons), i tend to cough non-stop for at least 1 minutes. Then the whole class will look at me. so embarrassing.

Stay tuned for the next episode of "Evolution of the flu"!

* * * *

To all my great friends since form 1 : su jia, shi hwee, wan ling, ying han, pei fen.......
I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN YOU ALL!!
Even if I don't blog about you doesn't mean I don't care about you lah.
missed the times we had..

* * * *

Hmm. DANIAL asked me to include him in this post. I shall do that.
This guy really shocked me on the first day I chatted to him.
And now he is going to learn his fifth language -- french.
He is heading to IUT (Institute Universitaire de Techonologie) in Colmar to study Geology on sunday 8/6/08. (Where's that? google it yourself...hehe..)

Hmm. If I am rich enough I will go find him there. In 12 years' time. By then the 2020 vision would have been realised (hopefully).

* * * * *

I made a list of things to worry for myself:

1) Evolution of the flu
I ate a packet of keropoks again at the tangkak bus stand. How could I resist the temptation after not eating that for a week? Feel sorry for myself.

2) I haven't do my homework.
No wonder I am free enough to read newspapers at my library for a few hours daily. That's why.

3) My piano exam on 31st July
The last grade!! Please let me pass!!

4) My Ujian Semester 1 and Topical Tests
Ujian Semester is held a few days before my piano exam. I heard that there would be tonnes of assignments during that time too. Hectic July!

5) MUET
OMG. What if I can't even get a band 4? What should I do? Talk to myself in english? How to train? no one to talk to... ...

5) Kakom (national level matriculation sports competition)
I might be participating in Tennis for Kakom if I can qualify myself.
This year it is held at our schoo! I really wish to join! I might be able to meet Jasper too.
Anyone else participating?

I am also thinking of joining Choir for my next semester.

6) My driving skills
Hmm. I know how to change gear. I know which pedal is which. But I am not really skillful when it all combines together. Especially when you have to look outside the car, the mirrors, and keep your ear opens to listen to hons directing to you as well as parents' instructions at the same time.
I tend to forget to step on the clutch while changing gear. Feel sorry for the car.

* * * * *

Conclusion:

My life is great! So many things to keep me going!!

I try to cut my blog short so that it won't be so boring. ^__^

ESFP

2008-06-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic.

Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men

You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

muahaha

2008-06-02T17:47:00.002+08:00

muahaha.

i m gettin sicker. anyway. i m currently illegally using my library's internet access for entertainment purposes. so exciting. muahahaha.

i m actually having greenish and yellowish phlagm from my nose. sounds disgusting? but at least i can still breathe partially with my nostrils and mouth.

alrite. i think i should x take this risk. but it's still so exciting lah...

i think i will have to delete history of this computer.

sick.

2008-05-30T21:56:00.002+08:00

i had a terrible cold this morning.
despite of the cold, i ate one big twisties and one big roller coaster in the afternoon.

Now I have both cold and cough.
I hope it will NOT evolve to fever or asthma.

My advice? Do not eat keropoks when you are having cold.

back! for two days.....

2008-05-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

I missed this keyboard SOOOO MUCH!!

Feels so great to move my fingers around like this. Although the speed has gone down from 56words/minute to about 40 something i guess.

First of all. I just heard it from Abang Hafidz that the other pktr07 people are having their reunion party at sunway pyramid. Having fun without me. Must be great. T___T

HAHAHA.

Matriks life is better than I thought. It wasnt as great as a one star hotel but I am still very satisfied.

Many people from second intake left. Including Thiban, yu jie and khai jie.

The main reason? we can't choose the course we want. Most of the people there wanted to be Doctors so they want to take hayat. As a result, they have too many bio student and they have to force the second intakes to go take fizik.

I am glad I wanted physics all the time. I would have left too if I was forced to take biology.

My hostel is also very close to the kuliah hall, the libray, the labs, and the tutorial rooms. The closest of the three hostels. Others might need 15 min to walk there. I only need about 3 minutes.

I feel very fortunate too as my roommates are very studious. ^_^

The bad thing is that all second intake students live on the fourth floor. FOURTH FLOOR.
and the food. the queue is always so long even though the food isnt really that nice.

they claim to have a gym, but it's only open two hours daily. 5-6pm for females and 6-7pm for males. hahaha.

and their cyber cafe. servers down. they do have wifi. but according to my mentor "they haven't open it for public access". I wonder why. ><

they do have internet connection in their library. Just that I havent got my student card so I can't go online.

by the way, the LIBRARY IS GREAT! AWESOME!! Sooooo many books!! but i don't really have the time to read them. All the books you need! A levels, university level, stpm and but only a few matriks book. I guess they expect you to buy them. I am extremely satisfied with the resourcefulness of the library.

their Photostate shop. 5 cents per copy even if you only photostate one page! hehe.
the koperasis (two) has everything you need. from newspaper to toilet roll to reference book to roti to maggi mee to stationery..........

Wow. my english is getting worse. i do not have the chance to use this language at all (only during the english classes) . Please be considerate if you find it hard to read my blog posts from today onwards. At matriks, the only two languages we use daily in conversation is chinese and malay. So those who speaks english as their first language will find it hard to merge with their friends there. We do learn in english though.

hmm. i doubt if i can get a band 5 for MUET at this rate. This is only the first week and I am finding it hard to think and write in english. Haiz. The influence of friends sure is great.

Most of my friends are going abroad. After the appeal result, i might have more. For now, I have 3 to US, 1 to australia, 3 to czech, 2 to ireland, 1 to germany, 1 to india, many many in singapore, many many many more in malaysia.

Many said that matriks is easy to score. I doubt that. I admit the syllabus is slightly easier (note: only "slightly". It's way harder than i thought) than a levels and stpm, we matriks student are very busy. We have to rush from places to places, from morning to evening and even at night. We have to manage our own food, buy our own books, wash our own clothes. Running around the campus takes about one quarter of our day, half of our day is spent in lecturing hall and tutorial class, another quarter is for sleeping. We hardly have time to study and revise!! We have to stay up late to wash our own clothes!! We have to wear formal clothes most of the day!! We have to iron our formal clothes everyday!!!!! BUSY!!!!!!!

Now, which is better? STPM life or Matriks life? Think again.

Well, the one and only reason i chose matriks is because of the speed & also because we don't have to take PENGAJIAN AM! YAY! But we do have dinamika (it's different from pktr...). It's like teaching us how to have a good image. I heard from my friends that they will teach us how to eat later. haha. And we also have moral class and computer class. But for all the three subjects, they only have two rankings, lulus or gagal. (alright. the classes are pretty boring. sorry. it's not as interesting as I said it is.)

about the koko. they do have a choir. but they don't have satb (soprano, alto, tenor, bass). Do you still call that a choir? I think they should repharse it to "singing group" or something.. I asked them why don't they have it, the reason she gave me was "we don't have enough time". Lame lah. If we can train a good choir team in less than one week, why can't they do it in a few months?

should I join tennis instead? But I am not really that good. I am scared that they might ask me to represent the school or something. I don't think I will win if I did.

whatever.

bye.

Kolej Matrikulasi Negeri Sembilan

2008-05-22T07:33:00.008+08:00

The Hostels

Hehehehehe..

Yup. I am going there.

Goodbye to the girls at Girl School. Goodbye to the boys at Boy School.
Now the problem is really solved.

I hope that the facilities there are not as bad or as little as the ones shown in the picture.

I am afraid that I would be very disappointed with either the people or facilities there as I might start comparing them with PKTR.

I know very well that no other program can match PKTR. But I hope that this Program Matrikulasi can live up to my expectatitons.

Facilities:
6 dewan kuliah, 28 bilik tutorial, 40 makmal sains
7 makmal komputer, each with 31 computers
Kompleks sukan : bola sepak, gym, tampar, TENIS, badminton, squash, bola keranjang, bola jaring, hoki, ping pong
Gymnasium

It's not really that bad lah..

thanks to xue jing for helping me to check when I can't open the website.
thanks to adi for telling me about his friend who got shell scholarship after matriks to oversea.
thanks to fuad, adrian, and aaron for accompanying me while I was waiting for the appeal results to be released.

Now. Good Luck to those who appeal for JPA. May you get it too.

By the way, I think I will still stick to physics.
I really really have no interest in plants.
I really hope my maths is good enough for physics. argh.

So. this is where i will be going.

Anyone else going there?? Any PKTRians going there too??

YAY! MYSTERY SOLVED!!!

2008-05-18T18:53:00.004+08:00

SO HAPPY!

I can finally take physics without any restrictions and hesitations!

after my stpm, i would most probably be an engineer... but I am still pretty scared.. what if I regret? What if I don't want to be an engineer? What if I suddenly realise I want to be a doctor or pharmacist?

I had been so troubled these days, thinking of where to go, what to study, what subject to take, and missing PKTR at the same time (multi-tasking)..

but just about a few minutes ago...

I juz found out that in case I want to be a doctor, I can still study MEDICINE without taking biology for STPM!! (Thanks so much to Aaron for telling me that!)

Local private universities like IMU and Monash will still accepts me!
Minimum requirement: B+B+B+ in any 3 science subjects (bio, chem, phy, maths)

why I do not want to take biology in STPM :

1) Killing animals like frogs and mouse just for the practical report is cruel... doctors are suppose to save lives..

it's totally against the food chain too. no energy is transfered in the process.
besides, if i am going to be a human doctor, who cares what's inside the grasshopper..

2) Have to study about plants.. -_-

argh. I hate transpiration. (Remember the experiment we had in SPM? I memorised so many different versions of it.) I dislike both dark and light photosynthesis. I do not need to understand how xylem and phloem function to cure human disease.

So. The future is still full of impossibles.

Yup.
I can still be ANYTHING after my form 6. Anything. I have another 2 years to decide.

u may say I am running away from problems. but at least for now, I am so relieved.

By the way, I will only be taking 4 subjects for STPM. I don't think I can cope if I take 5 .

Hopefully I am mature enough to make a decision when I am 20 years old..

^___________________^

To all PKTRians who are taking STPM:

Let's exchange all the papers that we have! YES!

Do contact me if you are taking stpm...

not getting a scholarship isn't that bad after all! :D

I am seriously bored

2008-05-17T23:17:00.001+08:00

http://i-am-seriously-bored.blogspot.com/

PKTR program

2008-05-17T00:10:00.003+08:00

I am very tempted to write something about PKTR. After reading so many posts from my fellow pktrians, I fear that mine would only be a repetition of what they have written. Instead of writing about the things we had been through, I would like to share some of the thoughts I have before, during and after the programs.

What I was expecting:

1) Sleeping on carpets on floor or if better, double deckers.
We had such comfortable beds! Air cons! No mosquito! Huuray!! I was wowing my way in on the first day...

2) Eating only 3 meals a day as stated on the jadual (hoping to get thinner)
Instead of 3, we had 6!! (once every two to three hours... )

3) I would be too lazy to wash my own clothes and dry them
I actually enjoyed washing clothes manually! hehe...

4) My clothes will not be enough for me to wear
I didn't even got the chance to wear some of the clothes I brought... haha..

5) Less than 50 will turn up cuz everyone is heading for studies
Only a few of them did not come (They dunno wat they had missed in their lives...)

6) I would want to go back earlier before the closing ceremony because of boredom
I enjoyed the program so much that I wished it would last for another week!

7) I would not enjoy the dinamika (i had been thru those silly games that we play during camp.)
Owh I love the dinamika.... they brought us closer to each other..

8) I might not be able to wake up in the morning
I was among the first to wake up!!

9) They will not follow the time table given at all
At least the time table can still be referred occasionally (I had been to a camp which no one cared about the time table.)

10) One person is given only a few minutes to shower and wash clothes at the same time.
Yippie! I can take my time to bathe and wash clothes slowly (whistling... )

11) The time is extremely packed and fast paced.
We were so free and relaxed all the time! I am glad to play grandma, black magic, silent killer.. (i still can't figure out angels fall and the yes or no handphone thingie..)

*****************************

Before the program

Like everyone else, I was glad to be selected by school. I wasn't very interested at first as we had to fill in the CV and do everything. At the interview in Batu Pahat, only some came.

I smsed tengku harith to ask him what I should wear for the interview. Instead of "formal", he said "anything". So I wore a formal long pants with a black collar t-shirt (which daniel mistakenly thought as a male shirt outside the dryer on the fifth day).

It was suppose to be a group interview. But my other 2 partners didn't turn up. Hence, it became a panel interview. 7 to 1. Imagine 7 people staring at you at the same time. And I had to try and maintain eye contact with everyone. But I am glad that they were nice. I felt lucky to be the only one as I managed to leave an impression somehow.

They actually asked me why I should be chosen instead of my other friend, why am I better. I wasn't prepared for that specific question. But I am glad that they were satisfied with my answer.

The tables between us were like 3 meters away so I had to walked up to shake hand with all seven of them.

After getting the letter via email, I was so happy that I succeeded.

I smsed and emailed harith about the program like almost 20 times. Yup. I was the one who asked him whether they provide iron, ironing board, hanger and clips on the night before.

I was also pretty disappointed at first to know that we had to wash our own clothes (which I had never done before) but I am glad I enjoyed the process during the program. It's a great exercise for hands and arms muscles. I learnt the effective way to squeeze water off clothes from nadira too.

My parents were pretty worried as it was the first time I had to go somewhere by bus on my own. Despite the fear of getting lost, I came by mayang sari from Muar to Pudu, all by myself ^_^.

During the program:

During the first few days, I felt miserable. I felt pressured to even speak with anyone of the PKTRians. Ever since my first encounter with nadira and hafizi on the pajero, listening to her talking intelligently about herself makes me feel inferior. It wasn't her actually. I just didn't have the confidence for myself.

I always wear a mask in front of people whom I met not longer than a year. I can't believe that I actually removed my topeng for less than 2 days.

After getting to know my fellow red team mates, we had such strong bonds and were the only team who ate together during meals for many days. That's why we were the team who cried the hardest and earliest during the"Gunung Berapi" session. (it was me.. i started crying even b4 anyone was selected. felt bad for choosing someone to be left behind.)

After knowing some other great souls, we started eating in other tables with other people ^_^.
Some of them in our group (like ozan, mei funn, nicole, chan) were too bz with their own stuff. Our red group seemed to have lots of great leaders in the program.

I kind of regret for waking up slightly earlier than everyone else for breakfast. We could have shared more time together... ><

I carried my camera everywhere I went since the first day I took two photos with Tan Boon Heong. I actually thought that I would meet at least one star a day. Haha.

I couldn't hold my tears back when farah started singing on the closing ceremony. The words and lyrics might mean nothing to others (I even spotted one of the VIPs falling asleep.. ops.) but it meant a lot to us. Because of that song, my eyes were teary. Thanks to Aaron and Ahmad's help, I started crying pretty heavily on Farah's shoulder. I am still so touched by her actions that day as she normally feel disgusted to have girls touching her.

I still remember my time talking to erwin.. he broke the small tap at the water dispenser which I managed to fix it back later.. haha...

I thoroughly enjoy choir and choral speaking (although we had to memorise many things). That's where I started to know many people deeper.

After the closing ceremony, flashes of memories came. Things we had been thru. everything. I was so sad.
All the faces and things I saw that night suddenly relate themselves to a certain event that happened.

The last night was unforgettable. We walked from the hotel to the jetty and got scolded by the manager at the hotel (twice... the first one was "Please be quiet as we have other customer to attend to" and "This is not your school.. you cant do whatever you like".. i seriously doubt if i would go back there.. hmm.. perhaps i still might in search of the memories...).
We were lepaking, not wanting to be separated. I sat at the truth or dare group for not more than 3 minutes and kena one question by sharon (so lucky lah ...) and then joined the Jasper group. We chatted about things, looked at the stars, got bitten by mosquitoes etc.

The last night was a great night.

After the program:

At night, I dreamt of the times we had in PKTR.
I met new friends whom I would cherish for life. That doesn't mean I will forget my old friends though.. hehe..

Now i think everyone would see me as someone who cries easily. I admit that I am very sensitive and emotional towards the things I love and hate, however, I don't normally cry. When I do, it means it really matters to me. I guess the same thing applies to everyone as well.

My sister asked me how this program had changed my life. My brain was suddenly crowded for half a minute. How should I tell her all the things I had learnt and gained in just a few sentence? It's beyond words can describe. It's not just about gaining new knowledge or meeting new people or acquaintance or promoting leadership qualities.... to me, it's about forming bonds. In just 12 days, I felt fortunate to share great memories with great people across the country. I never aspected to learn that much from such a short program.

Thanks to Tengku Harith and all the facis. Thanks to everyone who came and gave us inspirational speeches. Thanks to all of you who attended both the interview and the program. I wouldn't have the chance to meet you if you hadn't.

Mr. PKTR

2008-05-16T20:16:00.006+08:00

Since everyone is posting pictures during the program, I will post some pictures after the program...

Meet Mr PKTR!!

Too bad grandma hates you.... T.T

From Top:
Teatree spa bathing set (got it from the hotel),
the red ribbon (used to decorate our shield for "return of the king"),
the head of the torch light (its body is somewhere in gunung ledang...)
the duct tape (used to attach the pieces of the shield together)

Yup. The PKTR shirt and the batik cloth obtained from my rumah angkat...
(Haiz. Didn't have their contacts with me. What a pity...)

Malacca booklet & The Lake Cruise Route
(ran all the way back to get it with xue jing.. only to realise that we didn't have time to go around the whole town... T.T)

The bedroom slippers i got from the hotel as well (i wear it everyday!! so comfy.. ^_^)
The PKTR bag -- which is now my school bag (totally loved it! so many secret compartments, can withstand lots of stuff! though the zippers sometimes... >.<)

FORM 6

2008-05-15T18:20:00.002+08:00

yup! form 6 started!

life goes on!!

but i still miss my pktr memories, and all my friends from pktr and old school mates..

congrats to all who got scholarship!

Que Sera Sera

2008-05-14T15:50:00.002+08:00

Yup. I admit. I am a very very very indecisive person when it comes to things regarding myself.

I have always wanted to be a doctor since I was a child. I wouldn't say I am obsessed about it but I just love imagining myself being one.

I enjoy having the knowledge of medicine and treatment for illness. My mum really influenced me a lot.

Come to think of it, if I really want to compare between applying the theory of left or right hand Fleming and memorising components of cells, I still prefer the latter.

But still...

I am someone who can't memorise things easily. But once the information is saved in my brain, I will remember it for life (Yup, I remember all my friends from primary school). I can analyse physical things fast, things that I can see. But I am weak at understanding abstract things.

Based on my above features, engineering seems to suit me more.
Zillions of career test results also showed that I should do computer engineering.

However, many people told me that career tests are not as accurate as they seem to be.

i still dunno what I will take. Perhaps I will only decide when the time comes.

I just rejected the ftms and University east london 3+0 software engineering scholarship. Feel sorry to waste their time. And I even promised them I would accept their offer on the interview.

FTMS college is not a campus. I think I still prefer campus life. Besides, UEL isn't really that famous for software engineering.

The star should have offered me the nottingham malaysia foundation lah. I would have accepted it if they do.

Should i take physics or biology?

HELP!

Day 3 -- Opening Ceremony

2008-05-13T19:52:00.009+08:00

Walking outside the memorial..

We are staying right outside the sport school..

The boys... I wonder why the schools in northern states like to use white for male uniforms... Wont they get dirty easily?

The elegant Ikmal.. with his plastic smiles.. haha (pooh pooh... )
Ouzan posing as some superhero (i suppose) and chan standing like a politician

outside the memorial (almost got run down by car for this..)

(Tengku giving his speech for the opening ceremony... )

Yup, the cavemen... inspired by mei funn

We are one happy family..

Nicole looks cute here...

Tengku Harith asking us to enjoy our meal..

Xin xian, chan, ozan

during the forum

xin xian, the orange, and her face
(Before and after)

In the bus towards the memorial

playing, sleeping, chatting etc.

the career exploration forum.. i learnt a lot here..

Day 2 -- Gettting Along...

2008-05-13T19:12:00.007+08:00

Aaron on stage! Deciding on what to do for the dinamika V (in which we end up rehearsing for our performance... Nyalakan azam ...)

Tengku Harith asking us to decide what to do with the Dinamika V

The sweet girls!

Ya... Time flies when you are having fun...

Jackie (who claimed to be quiet by nature, turned out to be a great basketball player) and Hon Kit

Yup. We went there.

Our first photo as the RED GROUP! (a col looks like businessman lah...)

Y Bhg. Dato' Wan Mansor Abdullah

After the ceramah "Presenting with Impact and Purpose" (a great speech..)

Ashwin, Larry, Wei Zhen, Simran (the coffee was spilt by Ashwin)

They are so sweet looking ...

Mind ball game : Choong Ai VS De Winn

Everyone was fascinated by it...

Yup. These are the moments....

Day 1 -- Our Journey begins

2008-05-13T18:52:00.004+08:00

Nice and comfy bed in great condition before our other room mates enter (mei funn, choong ai, xin xian)..
that winnie the pooh towel is mine! ^_^ (pooh reminds me of Ikmal.. haha..)

Me, Athirah and Nadira (sorry for calling nordina..)

The first two pictures I took at MSN was with him (above and below)

There they are... our three other room mates...
mei funn, choong ai (i somehow missed choong ai and mei fun's irritating alarm..), and xin xian

me on the first day

Xin xian

Everyone of us! 310 room mates..

I discovered that most of the pictures I took were not as meaningful as what the others have taken.
Since everyone will be taking pictures of precious moments, I shall capture everyday life events which no one seemed to bother... haha..

Photos

2008-05-13T18:11:00.002+08:00

Due to my tiny memory card, my camera had been used on on the first 4 to 5 days.

To be honest, I do not know the names of the people when I first capture their pictures.
Strangers. They looked all the same to me.

Looking back at the pictures I took, I discovered many familiar faces.

I am glad I took the pictures of the moments that very little people would remember. These were the times we first met, first chatted, and first interacted.

Being a muarean, my written english is actually pretty localised and worse than Manglish.
I am trying my best to use proper english so that everyone of you who are not muareans can still understand...

I shall add the pictures here.. one day by one day... in four posts..

ah!

2008-05-13T17:55:00.002+08:00

Ah! My fingers are like "hardened" due to lack of exercise.

I wonder what my piano teacher will comment about this.

I will be having my last graded exam on 31st July and a trial exam somewhere in june.

I am pretty tired of writing posts recently. I still prefer reading blogs and posting comments and my thoughts for them. It's faster this way too.